Self worth is about having self compassion.
It’s about self-respect, about valuing your own person.
Problem is most people get their are depend on others to create their self worth. The feel good about themselves based on Facebook likes, on Twitter, on other people, on external factors.
Self worth should come from within, not from without.
If you want to take control of your self esteem, you’ve got to get it from within yourself.
In a moment I’ll share with you my top tips for creating self worth. But first, here are some interesting facts about self worth that you need to know.
10 Facts about self worth
- One of the main causes of low self worth is negative people, like Gaslighters, who emotionally abuse you.
- There are two main kinds of self worth. A general or global sense of our own worth. And a sense of our worth in specific ways. That’s why you might feel good about yourself in general but bad about yourself in specific ways.
- Scientific research shows that people with too high self worth are more likely to commit crime.
- Your overall sense of self worth is mostly made up of how you value yourself in ways that are important to you. If you think (as I do) that family is everything, and you are a good family person, you will have high self worth even if you are shockingly bad in other areas (as I am, ha ha)
- If you’ve ever wondered why your self worth is high sometimes and low other times, it’s because self worth changes throughout the day.
- It is just as bad to have too high self worth as it is to have too low self worth. Narcissism is a problem for many people (I’m looking at you, Trump).
- Even if you have problems with self image, your self worth has nothing to do with your looks. It is entirely psychological.
- People with low self worth tend to ignore compliments.
- People with high self esteem are less sensitive to insults. If you have ever wondered why insults do not upset you, it’s because you have high self worth.
- If you have low self esteem, reciting positive affirmations of mantras will make you feel worse, not better.
10 ways create self worth
These 10 techniques are some of the best ways of boosting your self esteem.
One of the best ways to raise self worth is with meditation. Low self worth is often caused by negative views and negative thoughts about ourselves. One way to change those bad thoughts about ourselves is to meditate.
Many people claim that Loving Kindness Meditation is the best meditation for self worth.
Loving kindness is a technique in which we think good things about ourselves and others.
Loving kindness is helpful. But there is a better technique. It’s called Karuna.
Karuna is the best meditation for self worth. This is a Buddhist technique in which we increase self compassion (as well as increasing compassion for others).
2. Practice the Karana Mudra
Mudras are body and hand gestures used in yoga and Buddhism.
Studies show that different mudras create different psychological effects.
One way to use mudras is to improve self worth.
The Karana mudra is the best mudra for self worth. This hand position removes negative energy and negative thoughts from the mind. This naturally reduces the symptoms of low self worth.
3. Practice Yoga For Self Worth
There are many psychological benefits of yoga. Self worth being one of them.
Yoga opens the body, heart and mind to a more positive state of being.
The best asanas for self worth are the large, open, whole-body asanas, such as Warrior, Half-Moon, Chair Pose, and Reverse Triangle.
Here’s how to use yoga for positivity.
4. Buddhist tips for self worthYou, yourself, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and affection Click To Tweet
There are many Buddhist tips for self worth. These tips train us to see the world (and ourselves) in healthier ways.
The best Buddhist tips for self worth are:
Practice self acceptance
Recognise that it change is inevitable (if for instance, you feel badly because you have put on weight, realise that weight fluctuations are a part of life, and that your weight will change again for the better)
Realise that your sense of self is actually just a thought or idea in your mind, and that those thoughts do not reflect reality.
5. Learn what makes you value yourself
It is a fact of low self worth that we judge ourselves based on things we think are important.
What matters to you probably isn’t what matters to me. We’re all wonderfully unique individuals. Whatever matters to you, that is what you should focus on.
If you care about animals, volunteer at an animal rescue.
If you think you’re worthless because you don’t have any money, focus on that. Incidentally, I’ve been there!
Whatever it is that you think makes a person valuable, achieve that thing in yourself.
Decide how you personally measure success and focus on that.
6. Be legitimate
The world is full of fakers. Just take a look around. People are wearing the same fashion labels. Why? Because that’s what everyone else is doing.
People are watching the same TV shows (as though we’re completely oblivious to the benefits of giving up TV). Why? Because they don’t want to be that one person in the office who didn’t catch the show.
We’re spending half our time trying to be someone else.
We should be spending 100% of our time being true to ourselves.
7. Have the guts to follow your heart, despite what everyone says
It takes courage to follow your heart. (Read: How to be more courageous)
Your heart leads you to an individual place, a place where a lot of other people won’t be able to follow.
When I finished university all my friends immediately got jobs. I went a different route. I took to the stage and toured England. That was a scary time because I was going against the mould, but I’m glad I did it. It made me me. It made me different, unique. And even though fame and fortune didn’t land at my feet, I did it my way (Frank Sinatra, anyone?).
8. Don’t even think about being “normal”
Why is everyone so hell bent on being normal and fitting in?
We are all unique and beautiful people.
We’re all splashes of colour on a grand canvas called Earth.
Don’t deprive Earth of your colour. Light up the world with your individuality.
9. Never let anyone tell you you can’t
People have good intentions. Most people won’t intentionally try to set you back. But people are full of fear.
When your friends or family say “You can’t do that it’s too risky” take it with a pinch of salt. Remember: that’s their fear talking, not yours. Just because someone else thinks you can’t doesn’t mean you can’t.
10. Say no
Saying no takes courage.
It’s pretty easy to let yourself be pushed around.
We’re all worried about being disliked and the easiest way to avoid being disliked is to be agreeable.
Reality is that if you just say yes to everything no one will respect you, and you’ll pretty much destroy your self worth too. Say no.
11. Don’t date someone who isn’t sure about you
I’m constantly meeting people who are truly beautiful inside and who could give so much to the right person, but they’re stuck in dead-end relationships.
- 60% of people stay in bad relationships, studies show
- 23% of people stay in relationships despite being lied to
- 37% of people stay in relationships when their feelings are ignored
- More men tolerate bad behaviour than women. 57% of men say they would break up with someone over infidelity, compared to 73% of women.
If your relationship isn’t working now then honestly I’m sorry but look it’s just not working and it’s never going to work. Get out. Have enough self worth to say “I deserve better than this”.
12. Forgive yourself
You’ve messed up in the past. You’ve done things you never thought you would do. You’ve hurt people. You’ve done harm. You wish you hadn’t but you have.
Guess what? That’s life.
It’s an unfortunate and painful but ultimately unavoidable reality. At times you mess up. It’s just that simple.
You have to be able to forgive yourself.
Accept all the times you messed up. Say “I forgive myself for that”. You’re not perfect. You were never meant to be.If God had wanted me differently, he would have made me differently Click To Tweet
13. What you achieve today is enough for today
Having good levels of self worth means not being so darn hard on yourself and not berating yourself just because you didn’t achieve everything you wanted to achieve today.
How about showing yourself some self compassion instead?
How about saying, “Hey. I didn’t do everything. But I did enough, and I’m pleased with what I accomplished”. Not only will that make you feel better about yourself, it will motivate you to get more done tomorrow too.Hey, I was imperfect today. And I'm cool with that, okay? Click To Tweet
14. You are not your genes
You could spend the rest of your life trying to make amends for things that happened in the past, but you have to realise that a lot of your past was not your fault. If your parents made mistakes your parents made mistakes. You’re not your parents. You’re you.
You deserve to have a healthy degree of self worth. You’re a unique and valuable individual.
Treat yourself the way you’d want other people to treat you. When you focus on your flaws, you put your flaws up for all else to see. Focus on the good instead. Let your brilliance shine.
Empower Yourself With The Self-Worth Mindset
What do you believe is in control of your life?
Are you at the mercy of external circumstances or are you master of your own destiny?
In order to succeed in life you need to believe that what you do is ultimately what controls your destiny.
As the famous William Shakespeare quote goes:“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.” Click To Tweet
When we are self empowered we:
- Find the motivation to work hard
- Are able to deal with challenges better
- Have less anxiety because we are in control
- Are less prone to stress and depression for the same reason
- Take control of our own lives
When we lack self empowerment we:
- Find it hard to be true to ourselves
- suffer from anxiety, stress and depression because they believe they have no control
- don’t bother working because “What’s the point?”
- blame other people for everything
- feel zero motivation
- lose control of their own lives
Become self empowered by achieving self efficacy
Self efficacy is your belief in your self, your belief that you will be able to success even in difficult situations.
Do you believe that you will conquer even the hardest times? Then you have a high degree of self efficacy.
But many people lack self efficacy. Many people believe they are not equipped to cope.
You must be able to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. We need to believe we’ll meet our targets, overcome our obstacles and achieve success.
It really does all come down to that Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”
And if you ever think I can’t, if you find it hard to have self worth, do yourself a favor and read my story about how I fought through depression to regain my self confidence.
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