Watch Out For These 10 Signs Of Gaslighting Techniques In Your Relationship

Published by Paul Martin Harrison on

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Are people in your life using gaslighting techniques on you?

Gaslighting tactics, says Jackson MacKenzie, Author of Psychopath Free [AMAZON], are used to Tmanipulate people in relationships. 

Gaslighting in relationships is sickeningly common. And you might be a victim of it.  

Here are the signs of gaslighting in relationships:

If you experience these symptoms, gaslighting techniques  could be the reason.

I’ll explain:

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What Are Gaslighting Techniques?

Gaslighting techniques emotional abuse. It’s a form of manipulation. It does massive damage to your self worth [Read: Create self worth the sizzles]

Gaslighting techniques are are a form of manipulation in which someone makes you question your reality.

Abusive people, narcissists, dictators and cult leaders all use gaslighting tactics as a way to manipulate people into doing what they want.

It’s an intentional strategy.

It’s done slowly.

The abusers gradually brainwash their victims while their poor victims sit defenceless, unaware that they are being manipulated.

The name itself, “Gaslighting”, comes from a movie in which a husband makes his wife think she’s going out of her mind by manipulating her. [1]

This movie shows many of the painful gaslighting tactics these abusive people use.

Gaslighting techniques are a powerful form of manipulation you need to watch out for.

As someone who has been the victim of gaslighting, I’ve made it part of my mission here on THE DAILY MEDITATION to help protect others from the same thing.

One of the best ways to stop gaslighting is by simply knowing what to watch out for.

Take a look at the following signs of gaslighting.

If you’ve been exposed to gaslighting, you will probably think negatively a lot of the time. If that’s you, here’s a great guide to stop thinking negatively today.

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Signs of Gaslighting In Relationships

How many of these signs of gaslighting are true for you?

  1. You constantly question yourself
  2. You ask yourself if you’re too sensitive
  3. You are easily confused.
  4. Making decisions is impossible for you.
  5. You cannot stop apologising for everything.
  6. You think you never do anything right.
  7. You think you’re not good enough for other people
  8. You feel like every choice you make is the wrong choice.
  9. You think you don’t deserve to have other people in your life
  10. You are unhappy and don’t know why.
  11. You’re constantly coming up with excuses for your boyfriend / girlfriend (husband / wife)
  12. You’re not as confident as you used to be.
  13. You feel uncertain about everything you do.

If you suffer from those symptoms, you could be a victim of gaslighting in relationships.

signs of gaslighting

Are you experiencing the symptoms of gaslighting tactics?

If you, or someone you know, has been experiencing those symptoms, they could be the victim of gaslighting.

Got these symptoms? If so you might be witnessing gaslighting in relationships with your spouse, family or friends. 

What do you do about it?   

Here is how to avoid the top 10 gaslighting techniques.

 

10 Brutal Gaslighting Tactics To Watch-Out For

1. Blatant lies are a sign of gaslight in relationships

They keep lying.

You know they are lying to you.

But they keep doing the same thing over and over.

This is completely intentionally.

They want you to know that they’ve told you a big lie because they want you to be uncertain. They’re destroying your faith and confidence in order to weaken you.

How to deal with this gaslighting technique:

Call them out and do not let them talk their way out of it.

 

2. Fake news is one of the worst gaslighting techniques

When you call out a person who gaslights they will deny it outright.

It doesn’t matter how much proof you have, they will deny it anyway, like Donald Trump when he denied the allegations his female victims made.

They do this in order to make you wonder if you’re just straight-up mental. Because the second you think you’re mental, you will become dependant on them (especially if we’re talking about your boyfriend, girlfriend, or boss).

How to deal with this gaslighting technique:

Have faith in yourself. Stick to your guns. Trust that you are right.

You will need confidence to do this. But don’t sweat. Read my guide to creating self confidence.

 

3. Another sign of gaslighting in relationships is that they use your kids against you

People who gaslight know how important certain your family, your friends, and your career are to you.

  • Your boss knows how important your job is.
  • Your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife knows how important your kids are to you, and vice-versa your daughter / son knows how important they are to you.

Gaslighters will use all these sacred things as a bartering chip. And they will attack them.

Your boss might make you question whether you’re good enough for the job. Family members may make you question whether you deserve your family.

Sadly, this is one of the most painful gaslighting tactics. Because when they mess with your family or job you obviously feel rocked, which is precisely what they want.

How to deal with this gaslighting technique:

This one’s all about stopping negative self beliefs.

Confidence is key.

You have to know you’re good enough for your job and your family.

Problem is these evil people may have made you believe the worst in yourself.

If we’re talking about gaslighting at work, be confident that your company needs you and that if they actually did fire you you would get another job at a better company.

It’s harder when it’s a family member gaslighting you. Your son / daughter / husband / wife have the most potential to hurt you. So what do you do?

Here’s the deal:

You will be terrified of losing your family. Obviously. I get that.

Family is the most important thing in the world. But you have to trust that you will not lose them. Gaslighters bluff a lot. And even though it is scary as hell, sometimes the best thing is to call their bluff

I recommend talking to your other family members and friends before doing anything.

 

4. The most obvious sign of gaslighting in relationships is that you’re knackered

This is is awful and especially if you’re a highly sensitive empath.

Gaslighters target empaths.

Why?

Because emapths keep being manipulated. And they are easily worn down by gaslighters.

One of the reasons why gaslighting tactics are so effective is because they are gradual.

When we deal with a smart manipulator, they know what they are doing. And they will employ their gasighting techniques gradually.

A lie here, a comment there… problem is you let them all go because they don’t seem that bad at the time.

But then they add up.

And when you look back, you realise that all those little lies and comments add up to a big deal.

How to deal with this gaslighting tactic:

Look back a few months.

Have little lies and comments here and there added up to knock you down?

If so it’s got to change.

Don’t let them get away with little lies or little comments. Call them out on it.

 

5. People who use gaslighting techniques are all words, no action

Words are cheap. Actions aren’t. Simple.

Do their words not align with their actions?

It’s a classic gaslighting technique.

They’re acting in a way that you would call them out for, but at the same time they’re saying all the right things, so they get away with it.

How to deal with this gaslighting technique:

Focus on their actions, not on their words.

 

6. Just when you’re going to call them out, they compliment you

Here’s the deal:

Most manipulators are not stupid people. Hell, a lot of them are evil geniuses. They know what they’re doing. And they also know how you’re reacting to it.

When you go to call them out, they will sense a change in your demeanour. And at that very moment, they will throw out a compliment.

That compliment is designed to make you think Huh? Maybe they’re okay after all.

No.

They’re not okay.

They are still playing you.

How to deal with this gaslighting technique:

This gaslighting technique is common in boyfriends, girlfriends, and bosses.

There are two ways to deal with it.

  1. First off, know that the compliment is probably false and is actually being used as subterfuge.
  2. Secondly, stick to your guns. If you were going to say something or do something before the compliment, go ahead and do it anyway.

 

7. Another sign of gaslighting in relationships is that you’re just so darned confused

Gaslighters know that the more confused you are the less likely it is that you’ll do anything against them.

They want you to question everything.

They want you rocked. Unconfident. Confused.

Because then you will be dependant on them.

How to deal with this gaslighting technique:

Use your intuition.

In the excellent book Psychopath Free : Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People [AMAZON],  Jackson MacKenzie says:

I will trust my gut. If I get a bad feeling, I won’t try to push it away and make excuses. I will trust myself.

Have the confidence to trust your gut instincts and to

Make use of your intuition. If your intuition is telling you something is up, something is up. Go with it. Trust yourself.

Have confidence in your thoughts and feelings. The more confidence you have in yourself, the harder it will be for them to confuse you.

 

 

8. Hypocrisy is another indicator of gaslighting in relationships

One of the most obvious signs that someone is using gaslighting tactics on you is this: they’re a hypocrite.

  • Maybe they chat to members of the opposite sex all the time, but when you do it they accuse you of cheating.
  • Maybe they bully you for drinking too much while they’re downing tequila.

They do this so that you focus on defending yourself. Because when you’re focused on your mistakes you’re not focused on theirs.

How to deal with this gaslighting tactics: 

Tell them you believe in equality, and that you will try to do (whatever the action they’re talking about is) as much / as little as they do. If they accuse you of drinking, say, “Okay. I’ll drink the same as you”.

 

9. They force other people to take sides

Gaslighters want to get as many people as possible on their side. Because people are both peer pressure and evidence. 

Think about it. If one person tells you you drink too much, you’ll probably ignore them. If ten people tell you…? Different story, right?

How to deal with it:

This is one of the most painful gaslighting tactics to deal with.

The social pressure can have a serious effect.

The trick is to know that those people have been manipulated too, and ignore them, even if there are lots of them.

 

 

10. You CRAZY!

A manipulator’s favorite gaslighting tactic is to tell you you’re crazy. Because if you believe you are crazy, you will listen to them instead of listening to yourself.

How to deal with it:

Have self confidence.

Trust that you are right and that there is nothing wrong with you.

 

 

Is their gaslighting in your relationship? Say no! 

There are serious effects of gaslighting, long term and short term.

In the short term a victim of gaslighting can be manipulated into acting in ways that are harmful to them.

The long term?

They can be dragged into an abusive relationship (at home or at work) that they then cannot get out of.

We’ve got to stop these manipulative gaslighting A-holes from getting away with it.

Share this article so we can stop this!

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Paul Martin Harrison

Paul Harrison is a meditation teacher, author and journalist based in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Paul has helped thousands of people to discover their true potential. Don’t miss Paul’s inspirational and enlightening book Journey To The Buddha Within You.

5 Comments

Angie · February 11, 2018 at 3:43 pm

All was good until I got to number 2! You went political, why? One could view your comment about Trump as a form of Gaslighting or manipulation..Sneaky, most gas lighters are! You briefly distracted the reader with your Personal feelings about Trump, interesting! Gaslighters like to get off topic to confuse their victims! Nice try tho 😉👏 👏 im not confused about the real gaslighters in Washington or the Main stream media!

    Paul Martin Harrison · February 11, 2018 at 7:18 pm

    I appreciate your point. Trump is widely regarded as the most notorious gaslighter in the world. And is an obvious example to illustrate a point. Thank you for your comment.

Wendy · December 1, 2017 at 4:04 am

Very good, thank you…..all true.
But I wish you had not brought in the political note. Trump. It did not need that ! Please you are good at this just leave that out. Use a different example. Thanks you have good info.

Connie Habash · July 30, 2017 at 6:57 pm

This is a very clear and helpful article – I look forward to sharing it with my clients. Thank you!

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