In my ultimate guide to stress relief I revealed shocking facts about the percentage of people who are stressed at home.
While surveys and science usually focus on workplace stress, more people are affected by stress at home than at work according to a survey by the Council On Contemporary Families . Researchers studies participant’s cortisol levels while at work compares to at home and found that cortisol levels are significantly higher at home.
That’s right: We are more stressed at home than at work.
Just consider some of these facts about stress at home:
- Stress is a leading cause of illness and premature death
- One of the major causes of stress is home organization
- 44 percent of people experience high levels of stress
- 55% of people feel stressed because they don’t have enough to manage home life and career life
- Of everyone who reports being stressed at work, 62% have children at home
- One of the leading causes of stress at home is relationship breakdowns
- Addictions including gambling, alcoholism and smoking are of the main causes of stress at home.
Well that’s just groovy.
We’re more stressed at home, at our refuge, than anywhere else.
And while many of us enlightened people have already created meditation retreats at home so we can escape whenever we feel like it, plenty of people still feel burnt out at home.
So what to do.
Stop Stress At Home By Being A Little Selfish Sometimes
Listen: The reason you are stressed at home is because you put way too much pressure on yourself.
So here’s the deal:
If you want to handle stress at home, start by being a little more selfish. Dare to put yourself first.
Why? Because you’re human. And that means two things.
- You have an innate right to be a little selfish at times.
- The more pressure and stress you feel, the less productive you will be, the less happy you will be, the less people will enjoy spending time with you and the more your relationships will deteriorate. You need to know how to deal with stress at home and you need to be willing to be selfish to achieve a relaxed state.
Your own happiness and the happiness of those near and dear to you depends on your ability to recognise your own needs and feelings and to say “I need a break.”
Yes, just say “I need a break”.
Surely even you, workaholic of workaholics that you are, have to admit that a break sounds pretty darned good.
I’m sure there are a million “buts” running through your mind right now, a million reasons you can’t take a much needed break, but there’s far more reason why you should take a break than why you shouldn’t.
Here’s why you should relax at home more
Negating the possibility that you stressful home life is actually caused by abuse like gaslighting, you probably just need a break.
Here’s why you should take the time to relax at home:
You’ll have more Energy:
You’ve started to run out of energy and vitality and the work you’re doing, whether it’s at home or in the office, has begun to show signs of deterioration.
Sure, you’ve only got the best intentions, but like everybody else, you can’t continue to work effectively without taking some time to recharge your batteries.
Too many people feel stressed at home because they’re tired and don’t have enough energy to finish the multitude of chores.
You can’t be a positive influence at home unless you know how to deal with stress at home.
You will be a better parent when you learn to put yourself first, because you will be happier, more relaxed, and you’ll have more emotional energy for the kids.
By taking a break you’ll find more energy which will in turn make you more productive. By choosing to not work now, you’ll do better work later.
You’ll be giving others a chance:
It may seem that others around you are incapable of looking after themselves or getting work done that needs to be done. But maybe, just maybe, you’re underestimating other people. Maybe other people are actually capable of more than you think, and perhaps by taking a break and learning how to deal with stress at home, you’ll give them a chance to surprise you, and perhaps even to surprise themselves.
Because then you’ll stop being old grumpy-pants:
No offense, but someone’s got to say it: when you’re stressed at home, everyone suffers because you’re miserable.
Sorry. But it’s true.
I mean urgggghhhh. . . you need to chill out. And honestly, everyone kinda hopes you do just take a break so you can get back to your usual, happy, lovely self.
So remember: no one wants you to be stressed in your own home because when you are, everyone suffers.
Because Standing up for Yourself is a good thing:
There is nothing positive about giving in to pressure.
By not standing up for yourself and admitting you need a break you’re creating three emotional, psychological negatives.
Firstly, you’re encouraging other people to not listen to their needs. This is particularly the case if you have children. For all your hard work, you don’t want to inadvertently encourage your children to sacrifice themselves and not take care of themselves, which is what they’ll be learning if you refuse to admit your own needs.
Secondly, you’re preventing other people from growing stronger. This is most notably the case if someone around you is lazy and you’re covering for them. It’s not positive for someone to be lazy. Not knowing hot to deal with stress at home will be a huge negative to all involved.
By taking a break and not being stressed at home, you’ll give your husband / wife / kids a chance to recognise their own needs by acting for themselves instead of being unhealthily dependent.
Finally, by not admitting your needs, you’re lowering the quality of your relationships. Marriage should be a team. Husband and wives grow stronger by listening to one another and helping one another, that’s as true for work and relationships as it is for sports. By demanding yourself to do all the work and not allowing others to share the load, you focus on yourself as an individual rather than a member of a loving, mutually responsible, supportive team member.
Because you’re afraid to:
A lot of people are genuinely afraid of taking a break.
That might sound strange at first, but when we’re working we’re distracting our minds from other areas, some of which might be quite negative and even painful. This isn’t the case for most, but is a possibility which is worth considering.
Ask yourself: are you really, honestly, taking all the responsibility because you genuinely have to? Or, are you preoccupying yourself and preventing yourself from facing an area of your life that needs to be faced in order for you to find genuine happiness? Only you yourself can know the answer to this, but do consider the question seriously. It might be that you need to take a break not to put your feet up, but to give yourself time to face an area of your life you may have been neglecting.
Tell your husband or wife that you need a break but are worried about taking one. Then cut a deal. Give each other a day off now and then and cover each other’s jobs. That way both husband and wife relax and there is less stress at home in general.
Because you’re human
Okay, I said that before. But you really are human. And you really do have the right to take a break. And life isn’t about work.
So there we are. The truth is now glaringly obvious. Sorry, but you need a break. You’re just going to have to grit your teeth, put your feet up and be lazy. Now bugger off and chill out already, for goodness sake.
The only real way to handle stress at home is to give yourself a break more often. Relax. Unwind. Let your husband or wife, or even kids, do some of your chores. Cut a deal with them if you need to. Because when the whole family is relaxed and stress-free, everyone wins.
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