Let me tell you about the time I used ten meditations for confidence and self-esteem. And I’ll share the scripts for those meditations with you.
When I slumped into a lonely motel room, homeless after a breakup, 3000 miles away from my home and family five years ago, I thought my self-confidence would never recover.
The breakup left me at the lowest point in my life and with zero self-esteem.
It took me months to pick myself back up, to feel good about myself once again. It took me 6000 miles of flying to reconnect with myself.
And I finally rediscovered my self-worth.
During that time, I learned so much. I learned psychological techniques that were supposed to be great but were actually rubbish, and I learned mind-tricks that sounded crazy but worked. What changed my life were ten psychological tricks and meditations for self-confidence.
I know right now that other people are suffering, and I want to share my experience of going from personal hell to soaring self-worth so they too can recover.
That’s why I’m writing this guide to self-confidence. It’s a 10 step meditation for confidence and self-esteem.
In this guide, I’m going to share:
- the best meditations for confidence
- the best meditations for self-esteem
- and my painful journey back to self-worth.
Below I will share with you my gruelling journey from rock-bottom back up. First of all, however, here are the best meditations for confidence and self-esteem that I personally recommend having gone through hell and bounced back.\
The Link Between Meditation And Confidence
There is a direct link between meditation and confidence.
Confidence means being clear-headed and feeling positive about your goals or intentions. The word itself comes from the Latin word fidere, meaning “To trust”. So, being self confident is about trusting yourself.
Brain imaging studies show that positive thinking and confidence activate the “Value Areas” of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex and striatum. Confidence stimulates the pleasure and reward parts of the brain (mesolimbic dopamine pathway, which connects the ventral tegmental area). And meditation does a similar thing.
Meditation is the practice of focusing the mind on the present moment. It is found in Hindu, Buddhist, and Yoga texts and has become popular of late with apps like Calm and Synctuition. There are different forms of meditation, including deep breathing, mantras, mudras, guided meditations for confidence, and movement meditations like tai chi and qigong. Famous teachers of meditation include Buddha (of course), Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, and Sharon Salzberg.
Now here is the important link between meditation and confidence. Remember how confidence involves certain parts of the brain? Well, meditation strengthens the same parts.
Meditation activates and thickens the prefrontal cortex, striatrum, and the mesolimbic dopamine system according to Harvard neuroscientist Dr. Sara Lazar. Note how these are the same parts of the brain used for confidence. Hence the link between meditation and confidence. [source]
Best Meditations For Confidence And Self Esteem
Vipassana: Buddhist method in which we focus on the breath and then label thoughts and feelings.
Anapanasati: Buddhist method in which we meditate on the breath and then focus on the feeling of relaxation.
Loving Kindness / Metta: Buddhist method in which we focus on giving and receiving feelings of love and kindness.
Mantras: Use positive mantras like “I am happy and accepting of myself today.”
Osho Nataraj: Dance method in which we let our bodies dance freely and madly, which is huge for producing positive feelings.
Emptiness: Completely empty your mind and focus on the sense of emptiness. One of the best meditations for confidence and self-esteem because it releases your mind from painful thoughts and feelings.
Running while meditating: Very challenging when you are feeling truly low, however, science shows that the combination of running (which releases endorphins) with meditation (which boosts serotonin levels) can have a significant impact on mood.
Basic mindfulness: Very easy method in which we simply focus on whatever we are doing 100%. Good for getting out of your head and for reconnecting with the present-moment. Research suggests that Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, in particular, may be beneficial for self-worth 
Guided meditations for confidence: These aren’t as powerful as other methods. However, when you’re really feeling like trash it can be easier to focus on a guided meditation than to do the more technical methods.
My 10 Step Meditation For Confidence And Self Esteem, with scripts
1: One single mindful moment
It all began with one second of mindfulness. Yes, one second.
It’s been proven that mindfulness makes you happy. Even if you can only be mindful for a moment, it will still do good.
I took advantage of that.
When I was at my all-time low, I felt so bad I couldn’t even see straight. I was depressed. And I was experiencing constant negative thoughts.
I knew I could use meditation for confidence, but I was beyond that.
I’d broken up with my girlfriend, whom I had moved country to be with. I was 3000 miles from family, completely alone, and terrified about the future.
My level of self-worth was 0 out of 10.
Science shows that we experience 50 000 thoughts per day, and the majority of them include some degree of negativity.
Well, sitting in that dingy motel room all alone (and some 3000 miles from home after I immigrated to Canada), I think I experienced about a million negative thoughts in one hour.
There were so many negative thoughts in my mind that I couldn’t even see straight.
I knew I wasn’t ready to use full-on meditations for confidence. What I needed was one mindful moment.
Mindfulness means “being conscious of the present moment”.
Science has proven that mindfulness creates happiness. And of course, confidence is very closely linked to happiness
When we are mindful, we can perceive our thoughts, and that gives us the power to change those thoughts. That’s why mindfulness is one of the best meditations for self-esteem.
Problem is, it’s not always comfortable being mindful, especially when you experience an endless siege of negative thoughts.
Sometimes you just need one second of mindfulness to break out of negative thoughts and connect with the moment. That one moment of mindfulness was my first step for using meditation for confidence.
You can find this meditation script for confidence in my guide to beginning mindfulness.
I was now at about 1.5 out of 10.
2: Then I took a Zen walk
Have you ever noticed how walking helps relax the mind?
In one experiment, scientists Miller and Krizan studied the mood of students when walking compared to sitting. The results, the researchers say, show that walking increases our engagement with life. In a second study, Miller revealed that walking helps us to stay positive for longer. So when we’re feeling low, walking increases our happiness, and when we already are happy, walking helps us stay that way for longer.
At the time, I was distraught and felt like garbage. I stepped out the lonely motel room and went for a 10-mile Zen walk around the city.
A Zen walk is basically a meditative walk in which we focus on the sense of movement. And in my opinion, this is one of the very best meditations for confidence and self-esteem because it gives your mind a break and creates a sense of freedom.
My Zen walk reduced the ruminating negative thoughts I was experiencing and helped me to feel a little better about myself.
Here’s the script for this meditation.
- Find a relaxing path somewhere quiet
- Put your hands together with one palm in the other, in front of your lap
- Begin walking slowly
- Mindfully focus on the movement of your body
- Take 108 steps then stop and take eight mindful breaths.
That was step 2 of my 10 step meditation for confidence and self-worth.
I was now at about 2.3 out of 10
3: Then I started to forgive myself
It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you continually hate yourself for mistakes you made in the past.
That’s why part of using meditation for confidence and self-esteem is to forgive yourself.
I was low, and my mind was attacking itself. I hated myself. I kept thinking of all the mistakes I’d made. And that made it impossible to live in the moment, and impossible to see any hope.
Science has proven that forgiveness is vital for happiness and wellbeing. Whether we are forgiving ourselves or forgiving others, we need to forgive to move on.
For self-growth, we need to forgive ourselves of past errors, learn from them, and be empowered by them. We cannot do that unless we first forgive ourselves.
So I worked on forgiving myself. I admitted past mistakes and learned from them. And I decided to use those lessons to my advantage in the future. By forgiving myself, my self-esteem shot up just a little bit.
I was not at about 3.1 out of 10
4: Then I started watching a ton of inspiring movies
Having forgiven myself for past errors, I was beginning to see hope. But I was going through significant changes, and it was exhausting.
So I took a break from using meditations for confidence and self esteem, and I started watching tons of inspiring movies for confidence. That way, I could relax while still improving my mood.
Scientific research has proven that our minds learn from watching movies. When we watch positive, inspiring movies we develop psychologically.
Lion King. Aladin. Star Wars. The Pursuit Of Happyness, these movies all helped inspire me to start being just a little bit nicer to myself.
These movies helped me to relax while encouraging me to move forward.
I was now at about 3.7 out of 10
5: Then I spent a lot of time with positive people
At this point, I was still taking a break from those confidence-meditations I’d been doing.
I checked out of the motel room, reconnected with my ex, and was starting to feel that maybe I might have a future. I had a small scrap of hope. But I knew I needed to visit my family and friends back home if I were ever to feel good about myself again.
Truth is, the best therapy is friends and family.
So I went back to England, still feeling low but with a tiny hint of hope. While we can use meditation for confidence and self-esteem, it is good to spend time with loved ones too (especially when you’re at rock bottom, like I was).
For the next three months, I spent literally every moment with people I knew, trusted, and felt secure around. My family. My friends.
This is actually better than using meditation for confidence because when you meditate you bring up certain thoughts and feelings, which can be painful, and at certain times you might not be ready to face the thoughts that come to mind when you meditate. Sometimes you just need friends and family.
And if your friends and family are fantastic like mine, they will do everything in their power to help you recover your confidence and self-esteem. Kind words. Smiles. Companionship. It’s a big deal.
While you’re doing this, cut out negative people from your life. They are lowering your self-confidence with every negative word they say.
Incidentally, a major source of low confidence is people who use gaslighting tactics. Take a look to see whether you’re being manipulated into low-confidence.
Now I was as at about a 4.3 out of 10
6: Then I really started using the best meditations for confidence and self esteem
I have written a lot about meditating.
It can be hard to use meditation for confidence and welf esteem if you’re at an all-time low. It takes little steps. Being that low can make you see things in your mind that you don’t want to see.
Having returned home and with the support of family, I was ready to begin using meditation for confidence and self esteem. I had picked myself up off the ground and had at least some small semblance of normality, and I felt like I was ready to start meditating truly.
I started using easy meditations for confidence, techniques like mindful breathing, mantras and Smiling Buddha Technique. I will say the Buddhist meditations were massive for me. See that link for scripts to meditate.
When I used these Buddhist meditations, confidence and self-esteem gradually improved because I was able to step outside my mind and outside those negative thoughts.
For me, meditating provided a much-needed pause. It let me reconnect to the living moment. This gave me the chance to start again.
Now I was at a 5.3 out of 10
7: While using meditation for confidence, I did yoga too
It’s not rocket science, but exercise makes you feel good.
Funny how we forget that when we’re down.
When you’re full of pain, you often forget to do the basics like going to the gym and exercising.
So while we can use meditation for self-esteem, it’s good to workout too.
It took me two months from my lowest point to be able to start exercising again.
I started with yoga. Yoga is fantastic for the mind and the body. The stretches help free the mind while the body gets loosened up.
Yoga promotes so many positive mental states: happiness, confidence, inner peace… when you’re using meditation for self-confidence, balance it out with yoga.
This got me to about a 6.5 out of 10
8: Then I adopted confident body language
Did you watch the Amy Cuddy TED presentation in which she explained how body language affects our minds?
Cuddy revealed that we can create positive states of mind just by changing our body language.
When I started to sit up straight, to hold my chin up, and to look people in the eyes, I began to feel more powerful and more confident. And this took my confidence up yet another point.
The best body language for confidence is:
- Not putting your hands in pockets
- Holding your chin level (parallel to the ground)
- Always having good posture
- Standing with your legs separated by a foot or more (this will change depending on your stature)
- Nod to yourself occasionally and when speaking to others
Not only does this body language make you confident, but it does also wonder for your charisma.
Incidentally, for one of the absolute best meditations for confidence and self-esteem is to stand with strong body language and then meditate on sensations in your body. This is similar to the Taoist meditation of Zhan Zhuang (pole standing)
I was starting to feel better and was at about a 7.3 out of 10
9: Then I used another Buddhist meditation for confidence—Loving Kindness
Three months after my fall from grace, I learned a genuinely remarkable tip for confidence.
This tip completely changed my definition of self-worth and turned my world around.
We usually think that self-worth is a personal thing, that it is entirely about us, ourselves, and whether we have feel good or not.
This, I learned, is an unenlightened perspective, because confidence is actually shaped by the way we view the world.
People who think that the world is a vicious, predatory place; people who think lowly of others, these people naturally have low self-confidence. Because they believe the world is evil, they do not feel secure in that world.
People who believe the world is kind and loving naturally have a high level of confidence because they think that other people will help them and be kind to them even if they mess up.
Here’s an interesting fact: Lack of self-confidence is an unknown thing in Tibet. When the Dalai Lama visited America in the 1980s and learned that people in the West suffer from low self-esteem, he did not believe it because no one in Tibet has the problem. He said that if we practise loving-kindness meditation (Metta) we will naturally improve our self-worth.
So instead of changing ourselves, we should change our perspective no the world.
How do you do that?
Practice loving-kindness meditation. For confidence, this one is huge. If you are feeling low and hating yourself, or if you’re feeling cynical about other people, you will get a lot out this technique. It’s definitely one of the best types of meditation for self-esteem. No script required. To do this, simply meditate while imagining receiving and giving love and kindness to and from other people.
Now I felt great and was at a 9.3 out of 10
10: Then I started positivity training
I had come so far. I had broken up with my ex then reconnected. I had been homeless than returned home to England. I had been at the absolute lowest point in life. And I had pulled my way back up.
My confidence was high. Now I wanted to maximize my self-worth and sustain it.
That’s why I started positivity training.
There are so many psychological techniques we can use to train the mind to be confident: mindfulness, self-love, meditation, cognitive behavioural therapy, affirmations, mantras…
How do you know which techniques to use?
I used a handful of potent strategies. And these strategies trained my mind to be confident and positive.
I’ve shared it all in my article on training yourself to think positive automatically.
Now I was hitting a high level of 9.7 out of 10
And now just for fun, the confidence animal scale.
I made it back to confidence. And looking back, I am darned proud that I did.
For me, self-worth was a journey. It had its low times and its high times. There were friends, and there were enemies. But through it all, there was one thing that kept me going: The belief in the human mind.
The mind is more powerful than we know. And when we access the true power of the mind, we can achieve anything.
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