When you practice couples meditation exercises you will strengthen your relationship. Plus, you will enhance pleasure in the bedroom.
When we talk about “couples meditations” we mean dyadic meditations (meditating together). Actually, these don’t have to be done with your lover. You can do dyadic meditation with anyone. But today I specifically want to talk about couples meditation techniques.
There are so many benefits of meditation for couples:
- Help with fertility and pregnancy
- Improve communication
- Reduce arguing
- Enhance pleasure
- Promote a compassionate connection.
When you do couples meditations your intimacy will skyrocket, and you will achieve synchronicity (you will communicate inwardly). So, let’s look at how to do couple’s meditation exercises.
Best Couples Meditation Exercises
Try these couples meditation techniques. Trust me, you’re going to love them. Plus, you will have a new activity to do with your partner. According to research published in SAGE Journals, couples who practice new and exciting or pleasurable activities together show an increase in marital satisfaction.
Before we look at the exercises, let’s discuss positions. Because positioning is important when you do couples meditation exercises.
Best Couples Meditation Positions
Sitting facing: If you’re just generally doing a simple meditation together, and nothing too intimate, simply sit facing one another. When meditating, couples should position themselves symmetrically, so either both sit in Lotus (crossed-legs), both kneel, or both sit on a chair. If you are doing a loving method (like Loving-Kindness), you can hold hands.
Standing bowing: If you are doing a religious or spiritual form of couple’s meditation, position yourselves opposite one another, bowing your head an equal amount. Again, aim for symmetry.
Side by side: If you’re doing a more intimate form of couples meditation, position yourselves side-by-side. This creates equality. Most positions in the bedroom have some level of submission and dominance. Side-by-side is equal, which is how meditation should be.
Alternate who’s on top: With couples meditation, the position you’re in should reflect equality and mutual love. When one person is on top there is a power struggle. That’s not good for mindfulness. However, you can change this by mixing it up. Let one person be on top and mindfully explore that. Then switch it around so there is balance.
1. Touching Your Lover Mindfully
Vietnamese Thien Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh (founder of the Plum Village Tradition) says “Every person is a world to explore.” If you’d like to explore your spouse, try mindful touching. It is a wonderful couple’s meditation for intimacy.
We often touch without focusing on it. We’re touching someone, but we’re barely conscious of it. We have a million thoughts going through our heads. We find it impossible to truly connect.
To feel more intimacy and more connection with your partner, practice the following couples-meditation technique for sexual intimacy:
- Set the room so it’s romantic.
- Sit together in the middle of the room.
- Take ten mindful breaths to relax.
- Hold hands and meditate on the sensation.
- Be mindful of the sensation of oneness. Notice how it feels. Imagine that the feeling of their skin is everything. Meditate on your partner’s body.
- Move around their body, meditating on them.
- Move around the body in this order:
- Back down the face to the chest
- Lower legs
- Back up the legs
- Sexual organs
- Meditate at each stage. You will now feel closer to them than ever before.
This is one of the best couple meditations for intimacy.
2. Couples Meditation Exercise On Sexual Fantasies
When you ignore your desires or feelings you cause self-harm. Buddha may have said, “Desire is the root of all suffering.” But that doesn’t mean you should ignore your desire.
When you ignore a part of yourself you push it down deeper inside.
Besides, meditating as a couple is a healthy way to embrace your fantasies. By being mindful of your fantasies and acting them out, you explore a new aspect of yourself and a new part of your relationship.
One night a week allow yourself to live out your fantasies with your partner. You’ll find this deepens your relationship tremendously.
3. Sensual Exercise for Couples
As a meditation teacher, I often advise people to focus on their senses.
Be mindful of sight, scent, touch, taste, and sound. This connects you to the present moment. Plus, it gets you out of your head. Try practising sensual mindfulness in the bedroom once a week.
Place some scented candles, play some romantic and relaxing music. Create a divine sensual paradise. Meditate on your senses. And allow your senses to lead you towards intimacy.
4. Use This Egyptian Secret to Channel Sexual Energy Through Your Chakras
Did you know that The Ancient Egyptians believed that you could channel sexual energy through the chakras and thereby achieve eternal youth? This is done by climaxing while meditating.
5. Basic dyadic meditation
If you don’t want to get naked together right now, practice traditional meditations as a couple.
Here’s a traditional couples meditation exercise:
- Sit together holding hands, perhaps next to lit candles for extra romance.
- Take five minutes to close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
- Open your eyes and focus on your partner.
- Touch them if you like, explore their body, but not in a lustful way, in a mindful and completely accepting way.
- Imagine you are seeing them for the first time and meditate on them.
- Take 108 breaths while you meditate on your husband / wife (boyfriend / girlfriend).
6. Meditating while making love
You won’t forget the feeling of meditating while making love.
You don’t need to be in any specific position or anything like that. Simply make love while focusing all your mind on sensations.
If you want to, take this to a karma sutra level by not climaxing. Experience what it feels like to be “on the edge.”
Feel the sensations, the tingling in your body, and explore your sensations.
7. Oneness Meditation For Couples
If you don’t want the experience to be physical, make it about emotional intimacy.
- Sit comfortably together
- Hold a mala (mediation beads) so that you are both holding the same bead while also holding hands.
- Begin to chant OM together at the same speed.
- With each recitation move one bead on the mala, one person going one way, the other person the other way—by the second “Om” you will not be on the same bead.
- Listen to your voice for 25 breaths.
- Now listen to your husband / wife’s voice for 25 breaths
- Now focus on saying OM together
- Continue until you both arrive back at the same bead of the mala (this should be on the 108th chant)
- Chant Om together one last time and truly feel the oneness between the two of you.
8. Naked meditation with your partner:
This is a beautiful couples-meditation for intimacy:
- Sit naked together on the floor in Lotus position (crossed-legged) or kneel.
- Take ten deep breaths to relax.
- Explore your partner’s body while you are both naked.
- Feel their naked skin and be genuinely intimate with them.
- Feel their body, focusing on it 100%.
- If this leads to making love, then allow it to, but meditate on making love by focusing your consciousness on your connection with your partner.
With these couples meditation exercises, partners can feel intimacy on an all-new level.
Benefits of meditation for couples:
There are many benefits of meditating as a couple:
- Improves sexual confidence
- Boosts intimacy
- Develops psychic connection
- Increases pleasure
- Strengthens the bond
- Makes relationships last longer
- Helps with pregnancy and infertility
- Makes you more attractive
Plus, one of the great benefits of couples-meditation exercises is that they make you even more appreciative of each other’s beauty.
Couples who meditate together usually develop a much stronger connection with one another than those who do not.
What matters more than anything is taking the time to truly connect with your spouse. Have a dedicated time when the two of you focus on one another. This will naturally increase intimacy in the relationship.
Like Jack Kornfield [teacher in the vipassana movement in American Theravada Buddhism] says, “When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another – and ourselves.” Don’t let that happen. Make time to escape the busyness of the world. Practice some couples meditation exercises for intimacy.
And if you’re looking for an easier option, you can always use a mindfulness app like Headspace, Calm, InsightTimer or Synctuition. Just know that research from Harvard Medical School shows that mindfulness apps are less effective than traditional meditation for couples.
Throughout my time as a meditation teacher, I have helped couples to connect on a deeper level, to resolve marital problems, and to become more intimate. And research published in the journal Mindful shows that daily couple’s meditation does indeed help resolve conflicts.
How does meditation reduce conflicts and boost connection?
Meditation cultivates a non-judgmental attitude. Plus, it reduces stress according to Jon Kabat Zinn, who created Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. Ultimately, this less-stressed, less-judgmental attitude helps to reduce conflicts.
Plus, meditation helps partners to focus on each other.
Marital studies by James A.Roberts and Meredith E.David at the Hankamer School of Business, Baylor University, show that distractions, such as checking your smartphone instead of listening to your spouse, are one of the primary reasons for breakups. However, mindful couples are more focused on one another. And this strengthens the connection.
Mindfulness helps with sexual dysfunction. Plus, it boosts sexual confidence.
In 2008 the Massachusetts General Hospital researched 31,000 women  and found that:
- 42 per cent of women have sexual problems
- 39 per cent of women have low sexual desire
- 26 per cent of women have low arousal levels
Many physical factors can lead to sexual dysfunction. However, researchers state that the primary cause of sexual problems in women is psychological.
For instance, Lori Brotto, professor of gynaecology at the University of British Columbia, lists these causes of sexual dysfunction:
- interpersonal relationships.
- general wellbeing.
- physiological factors.
In 2008, Brotto researched the effects of mindfulness on the sexual desire of cancer survivors.
Brotto found that women who practise breathing meditations and cognitive behavioural therapy have improved sexual functioning. Mindfulness was found to be more effective compared to alternative treatments.
Intimacy & Compassion
When you practice couples meditation exercises, aim to cultivate loving intimacy.
A relationship need not be perfect. No relationship is ever perfect. Naturally, there are ups and downs on our journey. Obviously, that’s just life. But A mindful relationship understands and accepts these ups and downs as a sacred step on the journey.
Feelings are essential to a relationship. Consider what your feelings around your spouse say about your connection. Do you feel joy and happiness? Do you feel compassion? There should be oneness, both in moments of intimacy and throughout the relationship. When you practice the couples meditation exercises above, always aim for compassion.
Have you tried these couples meditations with your partner? How did you find them? Leave a comment.
Note that you can also use meditation to attract love into your life