Practicing couples meditation exercises with your partner can massively strengthen your relationship and enhance pleasure in the bedroom. Technically these are dyadic meditations (meditating together).
Not only can meditation be used to attract love into your life and solve relationship problems, but doing daily couples-meditations can help partners to feel closer, more intimate, more affectionate and more loving. When practicing couples meditation, intimacy tends to skyrocket because of the synchronicity that develops.
Daily couples meditation can also reduce conflict according to research published in the journal Mindful.
When we are judgmental of ourselves and others we are more likely to argue. By meditating as a couple you develop inner peace and reduce fundamentalism, which naturally helps to reduce arguing in the relationship. Jon Kabat Zinn states that mindfulness reduces stress, and this of course helps reduce arguments caused by stress.
Then there’s simply the fact that it helps you focus. Marital studies by James A.Roberts and Meredith E.David at the Hankamer School of Business, Baylor University, show that distractions, such as checking your smartphone instead of listening to your spouse, are one of the primary reasons for relationship breakdowns. Mindfulness gives you focus so you can dedicate yourself to your spouse.
There are many meditations couples can use and they offer numerous benefits, including:
- Find love [READ: Meditation For Love]
- Help regain sexual confidence
- Boost intimacy
- Develop a psychic connection
- Increase pleasure
- Strengthen the bond between you and your partner
- Make you more attractive
- Make your relationship last longer
- Even helps with fertility
Plus, one of the great benefits of couples-meditation exercises for your partner and you is that they will make you even more appreciative of each other’s beauty. Couples who meditate together usually develop a much stronger connection with one another than those who do not.
So, how do you do meditation as a couple?
Below I will share the best couples meditations. Positions, however, are also important. So here are the best meditation positions for couples.
Best Couple Meditation Positions
Sitting facing: If you’re just generally doing a simple meditation together, and nothing too intimate, simply sit facing one another. It is best when meditating for couples to position themselves symmetrically, so either both sit in lotus (crossed-legs), both kneel, or both sit on a chair. If you are doing a loving method (like Loving Kindness), you can hold hands.
Standing bowing: If you are doing a religious or spiritual form of couples meditation, position yourselves opposite one another, but bowing your head an equal amount. Again, aim for symmetry.
Side by side: If you’re doing a more intimate form of couples meditation, position yourselves side-by-side. The reason is one of equality. Most positions in the bedroom have some level of submissive and dominant. Side-by-side is equal, which is how meditation should be.
Alternate who’s on top: With couples meditation, the position you’re in should reflect equality and mutual love. When one person is on top there is a power struggle, which is not good for mindfulness. However, you can change this by mixing it up. Let one person be on top and mindfully explore that, then switch it around so there is balance.
Best Couples Meditation Exercises (Dyadic Methods)
Couples-meditation exercises can do wonders for your relationships. Indeed, with meditation partners can enjoy long, healthy, loving, and pleasurable relationships.
Try these couples meditation techniques. Trust me, you’re going to love them. And on the plus side you get a new activity to do with your spouse. According to research published in SAGE Journals, couples who practice new and exciting or pleasurable activities together show an increase in marital satisfaction.
As well as practicing the exercises below, also make sure to work on self-love. As Tibetan Buddhist Pema Chodron says, “Without loving-kindness for ourselves it is difficult, if not impossible, to genuinely feel it for others.”
1. Touching Your Lover Mindfully
Vietnamese Thien Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh (founder of the Plum Village Tradition) says that “Every person is a world to explore.” And the best way to explore your spouse is through mindful touching. It is a wonderful couples meditation for intimacy.
Often, when we touch, we don’t focus on the sense of touch. We’re touching someone, but we’re barely conscious of it. We have a million thoughts going through our heads. We find it impossible to truly connect. To feel more intimacy and more connection with your partner, you can practice the following couples-meditation techniques for sexual intimacy:
- Set the room, so it’s romantic
- Sit together in the middle of the room
- Take ten mindful breaths to relax
- Hold hands and meditate on the sensation.
- Be mindful of the sensation of oneness. Notice how it feels. Imagine that the feeling of their skin is everything. Meditate on your partner’s body.
- Move around their body, meditating on them.
- Move around the body in this order:
- Back down the face to the chest
- Lower legs
- Back up the legs
- Sexual organs
- Meditate at each stage. You will now feel closer to them, physically, than ever before.
This is one of the best couple meditations for intimacy because it makes us focus on touching our husband / wife rather than being lost in our own thoughts. It is naturally a sensual meditation couples can use to increase pleasure too.
2. Couples Meditation Exercise On Sexual Fantasies
Whenever you ignore your desires or feelings, you’re leading yourself to harm. Buddha may have said, “Desire is the root of all suffering” but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your desire.
When you ignore a part of yourself you simply push it down deeper. Besides, meditating as a couple is a healthy way to embrace your fantasies.
By being mindful of your fantasies and by acting them out, you allow yourself to explore a new aspect of yourself and a new part of your relationship.
Take one night a week to allow yourself to live out your fantasies with your partner. You’ll find this deepens your relationship tremendously.
3. Sensual Exercise for Couples
As a meditation teacher, I’m often advising people to get in touch with their senses.
Be mindful of sight, scent, touch, taste and sound. This connects you to the present moment and gets you out of your head. Practice sensual mindfulness in the bedroom once a week.
Place some scented candles, play some romantic and relaxing music, and create a divine sensual paradise. Then meditate on your senses and allow your senses to lead you towards intimacy.
4. Use This Egyptian Secret To Channel Sexual Energy Through Your Chakras
Did you know that The Ancient Egyptians believed that you could channel sexual energy through the chakras and thereby achieve eternal youth? This is done by climaxing while meditating.
5. Basic dyadic meditation
If you don’t want to get naked together right now, practice traditional meditations as a couple.
Here’s a traditional couples meditation exercise:
- Sit together holding hands, perhaps next to lit candles for extra romance.
- Take five minutes to close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
- Open your eyes and focus on your partner.
- Touch them if you like, explore their body, but not in a lustful way, in a mindful and completely accepting way.
- Imagine you are seeing them for the first time and meditate on them.
- Take 108 breaths while you meditate on your husband / wife (boyfriend / girlfriend).
6. Meditating while making love:
Meditating while making love will be an experience you never forget.
You don’t need to be in any specific position or anything like that. Simply make love while focusing all of your mind on the sensation of making love.
If you want to, you can take this to a karma sutra level by not climaxing and experiencing what it feels like to be “on the edge.”
Feel the sensations, the tingling in your body, and explore your sensations.
7. Oneness Meditation For Couples
If you don’t want the experience to be physical, you can make it about emotional intimacy instead.
- Sit comfortably together
- Take up a mala that you will both share
- Begin on the same bead of the mala (so you are holding hands and touching the same bead)
- Begin to chant OM together (at the same speed)
- With each recitation move one bead on the mala, one person going one way, the other person the other way—by the second “Om” you will not be on the same bead.
- Listen to your voice for 25 breaths
- Now listen to your husband / wife’s voice for 25 breaths
- Now focus on saying OM together
- Continue until you both arrive back at the same bead of the mala (this should be on the 108th chant)
- Chant Om together one last time and truly feel the oneness between the two of you.
- You will feel a profound connection
8. Naked meditation with your partner:
This is a beautiful couples-meditation for intimacy:
- Sit naked on the floor in the lotus position
- Sit together and take ten deep breaths to relax
- Explore your partner’s body while you are both naked.
- Feel their naked skin and be genuinely intimate with them.
- Feel their body, focusing on it 100%.
- If this leads to making love, then allow it to, but meditate on making love by focusing your consciousness on your connection with your partner.
With these couples meditation exercises, partners can feel intimacy on an all-new level.
There are also mantras like Kleem mantra to attract people, which can help you to find love.
What Truly Matters Is This…
What matters more than anything is taking the time to truly connect with your spouse. Have a dedicated time when you two focus on one another. That will naturally increase intimacy in the relationship. Like Jack Kornfield [teacher in the vipassana movement in American Theravada Buddhism] says, “When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another – and ourselves.” Don’t let that happen. Take the times to escape the busyness of the world and practice some couples meditation exercises for intimacy.
And if you’re looking for an easier option, you can always use a mindfulness app like Headspace, Calm, InsightTimer or Synctuition. Just bear in mind that research from Harvard Medical School (and my own opinion as a meditation teacher) shows that mindfulness apps are nowhere near as effective as proper traditional meditation for couples.
How couples meditation exercises help with sexual disfunction
Mindfulness helps with sexual dysfunction and also massively boosts your sexual confidence.
In 2008 the Massachusetts General Hospital researched 31,000 women  and found that:
- 42 per cent of women have sexual problems
- 39 per cent of women have low sexual desire
- 26 per cent of women have low arousal levels
While many physical factors can lead to sexual dysfunction, researchers have found that the primary cause of sexual problems in women is psychological.
Lori Brotto, professor of gynaecology at the University of British Columbia, has found the following to be the leading causes of sexual dysfunction:
- interpersonal relationships
- general wellbeing
- physiological factors
In 2008, Brotto researched the effects of mindfulness on the sexual desire of cancer survivors. Brotto found that by practising breathing meditations and cognitive behavioural therapy, the women significantly improved their sexual functioning. Mindfulness was found to be more effective compared to alternative treatments. So this is another benefit of meditation for couples.
Couples Meditation & Intimacy
When you practice couples meditation exercises, aim to cultivate loving intimacy.
You might secretly wonder: Are you in a spiritual relationship? Or just another same-old relationship? How would you know? A spiritual relationship is a relationship which facilitates the spiritual growth of both individuals. Divine love is built on the sacred foundations of honesty, compassion, understanding, and genuine love.
Don’t worry if you’re not there yet; you can always use couples-meditation exercises to cultivate spiritual love.
A spiritual relationship need not be perfect. No relationship is ever perfect. There are ups and downs on our journey, in love as in life. That is simply the way of things. A spiritual relationship understands and accepts these ups and downs as a sacred step on the journey.
A spiritual relationship gets deeper and deeper as both individuals grow together as one. It is creation. When living with divine love, we are growing like the tree that is nourished with the purest of waters.
Feelings are essential to a spiritual relationship. The way you feel when in the presence of the other person says a great deal about your connection. There should be joy and happiness, but above all, compassion. There should be oneness, both in moments of intimacy and throughout the relationship. When you practice the couples meditation exercises above, make sure that compassion is one of your primary motivations.
Have you tried these couples meditations with your partner? How did you find them? Leave a comment, and for more great meditation tips for couples subscribe to our newsletter.