Being An Empath Is Killing You – How To Survive
Being an empath can be emotionally and physically exhausting. Empaths often absorb the emotions of others, which can lead to chronic fatigue, emotional overwhelm, and even health issues. I’ve been an empath my entire life, and I understand how draining it can be to constantly feel what others are feeling.
As a meditation teacher, I’ve found that meditation for empaths is one of the most powerful tools for protecting your energy and regaining your balance. I’ve used it to manage my own sensitivity and have taught many students in my online lessons to do the same. In this article, I’ll share the specific meditation technique that has helped me and others thrive as empaths—without burning out.
Yes, it’s a hard life. But it can also be an incredibly rewarding life. With a little wisdom, you can thrive. First of all, though, you have to learn how to survive as an empath.
Why Being An Empath Is Killing You
As an empath, you experience the feelings of others as though they were your own. And that means not only do you experience your own pain, you experience other people’s too.
“Having empathy means our heart goes out to another person in joy or pain,” says Dr Judith Orloff, author of The Empaths Survival Guide and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA. “But it goes much further. We actually feel the emotions, energy, and physical symptoms of other pelple in our own bodies, without the usual defences that most people have.”
It’s not just other people, though. There are different types of empaths:
We can be empaths to:
- Plants
- Weather (this is me)
- Animals (also me)
- Physical empath
- Geomatic (these guys feel the earth… crazy right?)
- Intuitive (also me)
- Emotional (definitely me)
The Pains Of Being An Empath
- Feeling not just your pain but other people’s too
- Having insight into what’s going on in people’s inner worlds
- Feeling isolated because you exist on an emotional plain most people never reach.
- Feeling tired and emotionally drained when you’re around emotional people
Our desire to heal others is a disguised cry for help
We are the most caring, most loving people around. And we deserve happiness and success.
But instead, we suffer from exhaustion and get various health problems precisely because we feel so much emotion from other people.
Indeed, many empaths are too busy dealing with other people’s problems to deal with their own. Psycho-spiritual teacher Mateo Sol says, “What many of us empaths don’t realize is that often our desire to heal others is a disguised cry for help for our own healing”.
In other words: we need to focus on our own problems.
Cons of being an empath
We empaths struggle when there are too many emotions.
“There is physical evidence within the brain that proves that highly sensitive individuals respond especially strongly to social situations that trigger emotions,” says Dr Aron, a Research Professor in Psychology at Stony Brook University.
We get burnt out because we are constantly soaking-up other people’s emotions. And these leads to many issues:
- Chronic fatigue: Studies show that there is a link between levels of empathy and chronic fatigue syndrome, which The Mayo Clinic defines as “a term applied to a collection of nonspecific symptoms, such as body aches, fatigue, nervousness, sleep disturbances and digestive problems.”
- Hair loss
- Aches and pains
- Losing weight rapidly.
- High levels of fatigue
- Mental Health: “When empathy goes into overdrive, people put themselves at risk for mental health problems such as anxiety and depression and physical complications such as heart disease and high blood pressure,” says David Sack M.D.
- Anxiety: Having either too much or too little empathy causes social anxiety
- Depression: In 2017, Yuan Cao et. al. at the School of Psychology, University of Queensland, Brisbane, QLD, Australia, found that because empaths are more sensitive to the pain of others, they are more likely to experience depression.
- Light sleeping: Having soaked up so much emotions throughout the day, it’s hard to rest at night.
- Physical pain: McGill Centre for Research on Pain at McGill University in Montreal discovered that empaths actually experience more physical pain than the average person.
Pros of being an empath
Newsflash: Your heightened empathy and sensitivity is the result of superior intellect.
Because of your heightened feelings, you’re going to end up soaring high, going from one success to another, if you survive, that is. If you manage to avoid the exhaustion and other health problems of empathy.
Once we learn how to survive the problems of being an empath, we can start to use empathy to our advantage.
The importance and value of empathy were scientifically proven in a study conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership [1].
Researchers investigated 6,731 leaders from 38 countries and concluded that empathy is positively related to job performance. This is especially true for managers. Managers with heightened levels of empathy are viewed as better performers in their job by their bosses.
Judith Orlaff, M.D says, “We empaths have many marvellous traits. We have huge hearts and the instinct to help others in need or who are less fortunate. We’re dreamers and idealists. We’re passionate, deep, and creative, in touch with our emotions, compassionate, and can see the big picture.”
So really, it’s about balancing the good and bad of life as an empath. Let’s take a look at how to do that.
10 Survival Tips for Empaths
1: Ditch the drainers
Tell one negative person in your life that you are distancing yourself from them.
2: Get energy from positive people
Appreciate all the positive people in your life. Express gratitude for them. Spend more time with them.
3: Create an energy shield
Your painful past wore down your mind’s defences. That’s why you became an empath. Good news: you can rebuild your emotional defences. You can do this with your imagination. Read my guide to Removing Negative Energy.
4: Be mindful of your thoughts
Practice being mindful. You might like to book an online mindfulness and meditation lesson with me so I can help you with this.
5: Forgive
To cleanse the negative energy that has accumulated in your soul, practise forgiveness. Who can you forgive today? What negative energy can you release from your spirit right now?
6: Let go of old emotions
Emotional baggage causes the empath adrenal fatigue syndrome because emotion wears you down. Practise being mindful of your emotions and letting them go.
7: Meditation
We can create inner peace with meditation. There are lots of benefits of meditation for empaths. It allows you to relax and to step away from all those emotions. It restores your energy. And it is also a quiet, peaceful time when you are by yourself and not being emotionally drained by other people.
8: Face the fear and say “No” anyway
I bet someone has taken advantage of your empathy at some point, right? And they probably didn’t even say sorry. We need to change that. Make it a habit to say no to unreasonable requests.
9: Bathe your spirit in nature
As an empath, when you are out in nature, you probably feel a tremendous sense of relief. You feel relaxed and tranquil. You can feel the positive energy flowing from the world into your spirit. So, spend more time in nature.
10: Change your perspective
See the good in pain. See the many life lessons that people gain through suffering. Then, you will be less urgent to stop pain when you see it.
11. Avoid the health pitfalls
Being an empath will kill you unless you monitor stress levels and emotional levels and get enough downtime and rest.
Conclusion
Yes, there are lots of pros and cons of being an empath. But you can cope. It doesn’t have to kill you!
The life of an empath is a gift. We feel more than other people feel. Life is about feelings, emotions, and experiences. We experience more, feel more, and understand more. That’s why, even though life is often a struggle for empaths, it is also a blessing. Yes, it’s hard. But it is also the most profound, most rewarding life.
Don’t just survive as an empath; thrive!
I’m reading this in 2026. I’m tired. I’m literally sick of people, injustice, gaslighting, everything. It’s hard to keep going.
I’m 51 years old and just now learning about all this. I always knew something was terribly wrong. I seem to be every parasite’s favorite dessert. Just knowing that this is perhaps a legit thing and not just my imagination is already making a huge difference to me internally.
I’m too old for this. Sorry to offend anyone , but even when I came to the reality of being an “Empath” I considered it complete BS. (I know .. it’s not). Once I fought with myself enough I accepted things. But how the hell am I supposed to make other people believe this kind of thing if I myself am so unconvinced? I may as well tell people I can see their futures. I’m more than that though I think I’m a bit of Peter pan mixed in. I uphold commitments and I can’t stand not to make money for myself, but I don’t accept a particular age association either. Like if someone says I’m old, I stay detached from any emotional response to such a statement. I honestly don’t feel that way. Aging seems to be some kind of curse to slowly appear different but feel to be basically the same person inside… It’s been some time since I remembered how I wanted to fix everyone’s problems, but that was me once. I was kind of proud of the fact that if I worked at it, I could help almost anybody. It was easy for me. Unfortunately, I met my match with my wife. I didn’t even figure out what was happening, but I was always confused at how no matter how hard I worked and persevered I could never fix her problems. I would constantly feel her negativity and want to fix it to better both of our lives and never seem to succeed. I almost killed myself several times, but found some part of me still was unwilling to let me finish the job. As it said above nature is very .. comforting to me. So much so that it’s kind of a small heaven. A place I could let go of my life everything is so at peace -I struggle to not be absorbed out into it. I struggle with a single goal to aim for in my life to better myself. I am lost invisible and miserable about it. I am a fool who embraces a fool’s life. But living this long at least brought to light a few more answers. I’ve been to therapy before (long ago) (for depression). Thinking back on it… I think maybe it would have helped if I gathered more types like me to converse with. I have close to zero friends, 1 daughter (we adore each other) and a very different from me wife. I can’t work like “normal” people. I’m a onsite IT technician, which keeps me moving and not around the same people. I never could figure out why such a position worked for me so well, but I like to fix, to heal and to love and be loved. It’s literally the only thing I know for sure about me. Suffice it to say life’s not going so great for me. Very few people make me sick inside and most of the time when it happens it happens because of my experience with them built-up over time. In regards to knowing how horrible of people they are and how they treat others that mean something to me. And extra negative points if you’re extremely fake, it makes me want to to piss in your face. My “shield” became anger. I always wondered about that.. I was always kind/nice (aka a target) and patient. Sometime in young adulthood I got sick of feeling like a victim and developed an angry side. Some anger is healthy, mine will one day kill me.. high blood pressure is an issue in my family. My anger has become my shield, the part of me that protects the nice, weak guy that catches nobody’s eye. I do things sometimes that I can’t even recognize how I thought to do such a mean thing… I guess I should pass this knowledge onto my daughter. Maybe she can have a better life than I if she became aware of what a kind soul she really is.. take care everyone.
What about when your alone time is by nonphysicals/offensive energy??
I think I’m an empath, and one of the things I struggle with terribly is GUILT. I feel like I am responsible for the feelings of others around me. And if they’re not feeling good, I feel guilty that I can’t change it. It’s crippling me as a person. :(
Thanks, for taking the time to articulate some of empath issues and befits! However, what do we do to explane these things to others? How do we survive great emotional turmoil and quite frankly other empaths? Meditation, shields and positive people are great but when that one person enters the room and you get sick what then? Is there a point when we are too empahic? What can we do to stop the cycle when people can over ride our protections? Any help or links to answers would be extremely helpful Thanks for the information!
Because we feel. We also judge harshly. Being grateful for small things provides balance as does nature, and adventure.
Which needs to be reclaimed from our toxic tech culture.
I am a little confuesed. I know I am an empath as most of the charactaristic of being an empath describe me to a T however I thrive in social settings. I love being around people. I have learned to differentiate between genuine emotion and the ones who play someone by pretending to feel something. I can not seem to be able to do that with significant others. I am constantly drawn to narcissitic people and I don’t realize it till its months in and i am all of a sudden questioning everything. And realizing that I am taking care of them, their needs, their wants, their emotions and I am being taken advantage of. How do I stop this?
Hi Rebecca. I’m having the same problem. And I’m also an extroverted empath. First of all, narcissists are drawn to us, more than the other way around. (We give them everything they want). And when it comes to romantic relationships, we feel our own sexual attraction and theirs. So it’s extremely intense, and also hard to differentiate our own feelings. Right now my plan is to either try to move very slowly with the physical stuff, or keep a shield up/detach from it, even though I’m sensing the strong connection. Just ignore it. At least until I can figure out who this person really is, and if they are going to harm me. Cuz the connection might not be real, just the other person latching on like a parasite. It’s also okay to take a break from dating and work on grounding yourself. Get a support network of family and friends who will help you pick the right guy (or girl) :)
My mind is blown, I now understand that I am an empath! I now understand why I don’t usually fit
in with the masses. I could have saved myself a lot of pain, sleepless nights and physical ailments had I known. Having grown up this way I thought it normal, until I saw a big difference
in myself and others around me. I feel the pain, sorrow, happiness and emotions of others as though it were happening to me. This has caused a lot of problems in my marriage and with friends and co-workers. Wow oh wow, I am on meds to try and control the pain, anxiety and panic attacks that have resulted from taking on the pain and suffering of the world. Thank you for this article, I now have a name and diagnosis for my deep feelings and hopefully be able to begin healing myself as well as encourage others.
I am an empath that got a good understanding and control early in life. At the age of 20 i experienced a massive head injury spending years in hospital. 20 yrs later I am finally starting to once again regain my control being able to shield my mind and open it up. My best advice is to find something that is a passion a true passion for me and many empathes is a love of animal and or nature. Find others that share that love use it to channel your mind into positive thoughts. By learning to channel the positive you can slow or even halt in situations the onslaught of emotions, both positive and negative. Allowing you to find a balance, balance is the true objective and is essential for an empath. I have to connect with my ability to stay happy and healthy I can not be always alone I need connection. When I was unable to control the emotions it was overwhelming riding other people’s high and especially the lows. Find an outlet for the trapped emotions. Top methods: Meditation, artistic expression (writing, painting etc), therapy. I wish you all luck and success in finding your balance.
For me my biggest struggle as an Empath is Work. I have cut out all of the toxic energy draining friends and family in my life but I can NOT cut out my co-workers and the clients I work with because I have to work for a living. I have been working for 24 years in a variety of jobs but they all have the same problem: emotionally draining people to work with. How do you protect yourself when you have to put up with other’s BS for 40 hours a week just to pay bills, etc? It is far easier to cut out friends and family but impossible to cut out co-workers and clients. I am suffering…even thought about suicide on my way to work the other week because I was in tears/having a panic attack just thinking about having to go back into work again for another shift (oh, and I have changed jobs many times for this very reason and no matter the job, the result is always the same: overwhelming misery.) I am getting help….
Great article, read it a while ago and finally decided to come back and post a comment. It has helped me a lot to understand what happen to my own mental barriers and why it is so important to keep building them back up. Reflecting back on my own upbringing has not been particularly enjoyable but it has helped to be a better parent. I only wish I read this twenty years ago when I was deciding on a career.
This is the best article I’ve read about being an empath. I, unfortunately, had to figure out much of this on my own over the years. I am thrilled to realize there is help out there for the struggling empath. Excellent!
Thanks so much for your kind words. Sorry you had to learn the hard way, as you say (I did too!).
I am afraid I will die because of empathy. I try to help myself but I have to do better. Thank you, it all applied to me except that I never feel used by someone. I pick up too much from them for me to go beyond what I should. As for my pain I feel the pain of others and their thoughts of their pain which feel like I can speak but want to cry/scream.
Thank u this has helped me understand a better way to look my empathy and the good I believe I can do with it.
I was surprised when I read about how you were being attacked by gas lighting techniques. I am too. I noticed this about ten years ago and it’s been extremely annoying ever since. Talking to anyone about this is really risky because you already have people trying to assassinate your character every chance they get. I can tell when someone is trying to “shoot a shot at me” basically saying a comment in a certain way where I know that I am the target. (Gas lighting) Throughout the years it seems people are all too happy to act this way and it makes me sick. I have a difficult time being fake so when I’m dealing with these situations with people I tend to just chalk it up to anxiety. I think people assume that its all about the way you see things but for me just knowing that there is an alterior motive or something other than being genuine behind the things they are saying is enough for me to immediately see them in a negative light. It’s just very tiring to deal with. I just laugh or take it all in but I’m really tired of trying to make excuses for why people are crappy. I’m going to have to make some changes for sure.
Thank you for the last bit about pain and the pathway to enlightenment. I’ve always embrassed being an empath since I was kid but recently( 33 years old) it’s seeming to make me absolutely mental. That paragraph really really put a lot of perspective on the pain I’ve endured that put me in this place in the first place and feeling others emotions. This was a helpful read this afternoon, I hope you realize the impact.
I’m glad you found the article helpful Kristen. Thanks for your kind words.