Being An Empath Will Basically Kill You Unless You Use These Tips

Being An Empath Will Basically Kill You Unless You Use These Tips

Listen: Being an empath is going to kill you unless you wake up to certain things. 

Trust me. I’ve been an empath my entire life, ever since I was a little kid. You know what it’s like.

  • Soaking up other people’s emotions.
  • Feeling other people’s pain.
  • Basically being an emotional sponge. 

As empaths, we have the psychic ability to feel other people’s emotions.  

And it’s hard. Isn’t it?

But we empaths are the most caring, most loving people around. And we deserve happiness and success. So what are we going to do about it?

Thankfully, I know some amazing tips for empaths like me. And I’m going to share them with you so being an empath doesn’t kill you. 

And I know you may have been asking how to stop being an empath. But don’t. Never ask that question. Being an empath is a gift. You just need to learn to control it, so you can get the pros, not cons, of being an empath. 

There are pros and cons of being an empath

Yes, there are both pros and cons of being an empath. 

Being an empath used to kill me, partly because people were attacking me with vicious gaslighting techniques

I used to wonder why I’m so sensitive. Why I am a highly empathetic person. 

I used to wonder why I’m cursed with high levels of empathy.

And I used to see my heightened empathy and compassion as a bane. 

But again, there are pros and cons of being an empath.  You just have to know how to make the most of it. 

First, there’s the pros of being an empath: 

Newsflash: Your heightened empathy and sensitivity is the result of superior intellect.

Because of those heightened feelings you’re going to end up soaring high, going from one success to another. That’s why being an empath can be awesome. 

Once we learn how to cope with being an empath, we can start to use it to our advantage

Diagree? Consider this:

The importance and value of empathy was scientifically proven in a study conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership [1]. The study investigated 6,731 leaders from 38 countries and concluded that empathy is positively related to job performance. This is especially true for managers. Managers with heightened levels of empathy are viewed as better performers in their job by their bosses.

That’s just one of the advantage of being an empath.

There are many more, as I’ll share in a moment.

But first you might be wondering, just what is an empath? What are the pros and cons of being an empath? And how can you make use of your empathy and tune into your intuition.

Judith Orlaff On The pros of being an empath 

There are lots of benefits of being an empath.

Judith Orlaff, M.D  says:

“We empaths have many marvelous traits. We have huge hearts and the instinct to help others in need or who are less fortunate. We’re dreamers and idealists. We’re passionate, deep, and creative, in touch with our emotions, compassionate, and can see the big picture.”  

So how do we not just cope with being an empath, but make the most of the pros of being an empath?

Below are 10 ways how to cope with being an empath. They’ll help you make the most of the benefits of being an empath, and reduce the impact of the cons of being an empath.

What does it mean to be an empath, really?

Being an empath basically means you can feel people’s emotions.

“Having empathy means our heart goes out to another person in joy or pain,” says Dr. Judith Orloff, author of The Empaths Survival Guide.

“But for empaths it goes much further.

“We actually feel others’ emotions, energy, and physical symptoms in our own bodies, without the usual defenses that most people have.”

It’s not just other people though. There are different types of empaths:

  • Plant empaths
  • Weather empaths (this is me)
  • Animal empaths (also me
  • Physical empath
  • Geomatic empath (these guys actually feel the earth… crazy right?)
  • Intuitive empath
  • Emotional empath

Some people are all the different kinds of empaths! Lucky them, huh? 

empaths survival guide book


The definition of a highly sensitive / empathetic person is “an individual who is acutely aware of the emotions of other people.”

You’ll know if you’re a highly sensitive / empathetic person from the following signs:

  1. You sense the feelings of other people.
  2. You have insight into what’s going on in the inner world of people
  3. You often feel isolated because you exist on an emotional plain most people never reach.
  4.  You share the pain of others–“Empathy moves us to share in another’s pain, to really see the world through their eyes,” says David R Hamilton, PhD. 
  5. Overall, it is as though you can psychically feel what other people are feeling.

Note that being an empath is not the same as being a highly sensitive person.  Let’s take a quick look at the differences between a highly sensitive person and a highly sensitive empath.

Being an empath VS being a Highly Sensitive Person

Being an empath is not the same thing as being a highly sensitive person.

The key difference between a highly sensitive person and a highly sensitive empath is that HSPs (highly sensitive people) are sensitive to things pertaining to themselves.

Highly sensitive people:

  • take jokes personally.
  • are easy to offend.
  • feel mostly for themselves.

A highly sensitive empath, on the other hand, is someone who is keenly aware of the feelings of other people.

Regardless of whether you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP) or a highly sensitive empath (HSE) it’s worth taking a moment to consider the root cause of your sensitivity.

Cons of being an empath

Highly Sensitive / Empathetic people are extremely valuable individuals, but they are prone to issues.

“When empathy goes into overdrive, people put themselves at risk for mental health problems such as anxiety and depression and physical complications such as heart disease and high blood pressure,” says David Sack M.D.

Many people (especially clairsentient, sensitive, intuitive and lightworker types) can suffer from problems of overly active empathy.

If you’re one of them, you may have noticed that you do everything to make sure other people are happy, and it’s rarely requited.

You care more than other people.

Then you wonder why other people don’t care as much as you do.

This sense of caring-for people but not having people care about you can lead to to a sense of isolation.

Why being an empath is killing you 

Aristotle said: “To perceive is to suffer.”

When you’re  a highly sensitive empath you are more perceptive of other people’s emotions, and this can lead to suffering.

Taking up other people’s emotions leads to a lot of emotional weight on your shoulders.

This is why you may sometimes struggle in social situations.

“There is physical evidence within the brain that proves that highly sensitive individuals respond especially strongly to social situations that trigger emotions,” says Dr. Aron, a Research Professor in Psychology at Stony Brook University [1]

Being an empath means you soak up other people’s emotions, and then those emotions come pouring out of them.

That’s a lot of emotion to run through one person.

Your perceptions give you strength. But they also cause you suffering.

In fact, many empaths are so tired of the emotional strain that they have developed a serious health problem: adrenal fatigue.

Biggest con of being an empath: Empaths get Chronic Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome

When I said being an empath kills you, I wasn’t joking. It quite literally can kill you because of adrenal fatigue syndrome. It’s possibly the biggest con of being an empath. 

Being an empath puts you at dangerously high risk of developing adrenal syndrome and insomnia.

Studies show that empaths are at dangerously high risk of experiencing a sudden onset of adrenal fatigue syndrome. If you have ever experienced a sudden and unexpected crash in energy levels, it might have been the result of heightened levels of fatigue, according to the latest research.

When empaths are in contact with emotional individuals, and particularly individuals with lots of negative energy, it can sap away at the empath’s mind, leading to a severe draining of energy.

When empaths spend too much time around other people they can experience emotional exhaustion. This can lead to mental health problems like anxiety and depression.

Negative emotions and painful thoughts can cause a weakening of the immune system leading to devastating consequences.

Here’s the deal with empaths and adrenal fatigue

The Mayoclinic defines adrenal fatigue syndrome as, “a term applied to a collection of nonspecific symptoms, such as body aches, fatigue, nervousness, sleep disturbances and digestive problems.”

The adrenal glands are responsible for creating hormones that are essential to our health. Insufficient production of these hormones occurs in Addison’s disease. [2]

You might have Addisons disease if:

  • You have hair loss
  • You experience aches and pains
  • You have rapidly lose weight
  • You are experiencing loss of body hair
  • High levels of fatigue

The main cause of adrenal fatigue syndrome is stress, and for the empath this can be caused by too much emotional information entering the mind.

When experiencing any of these conditions, spend time alone and relax.

When we experience these dips in energy we must take proactive steps to get our energy back in healthy ways.  Give up on sugar, coffee and smoking.  Use some techniques to stop feeling tired instead.  Junk food, sugar, and other easy but unhealthy options are not going to help in the long run. Exercise, healthy food, meditation and relaxation.

3 Tips For Empaths For Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome

Here are 3 of the best tips for empaths to to stop adrenal fatigue syndrome. 

1: Eat a healthy, balanced diet:

Being an empath means you need energy. Lot’s of energy. Get it from food. 

Include all essential vitamins and minerals and make sure to eat at a healthy time and in a healthy way. Eating mindfully is one good way of improving digestive health.

The best book for developing a healthy diet that will help support your adrenal glands (and help you lose weight too) is Alan Christianson’s The Adrenal Reset Diet.

2: Get a good night’s sleep:

Another great tip for empaths is to just sleep a lot.

Sleep is vital to… everything. And it can have a profound impact on your adrenal glands. Getting to bed early, getting a good night’s sleep, and waking up with a positive attitude will all have a positive impact on your adrenal glands.

3: Get away from negative people 

Probably the best tip for empaths is to get away from negtive people. 

For empaths, one of the primary causes of stress is negative and overly emotional people. They sap our energy away and leave us emotionally and physically exhausted. We naturally want to help other people. We need to help ourselves too. The key is to seek solitude when we need it.

4: Here’s an alternative tip for empaths: use mantras to help you sleep.

Now, here’s how to cope with being an empath: Get alone time. Lots of it.  

The biggest con of being an empath is fatigue from other people’s emotions. The best way how to cope with being an empath is to  get alone time. Tons of it. 

Being an empath means we absorb too much emotions, thoughts and feelings keep us up at night. This results in sleep deprivation, which can lead to insomnia. The side effects of insomnia include anxiety, depression, stress, and a weakened immune system.

Not only is it hard to get to sleep at these times, we are also likely to experience light sleeping/ We will wake up often. And when we wake we may be troubled by the emotions of the people we’ve been hanging around with.

Restlessness is another con of being an empath empaths.

Empaths are hypersensitive to the emotions of others. This can cause information overload, but not in the usual sense. This isn’t information overload from TV or the internet. It’s a spiritual kind of information overload. It’s psychological. It’s being overloaded with too many emotions, thoughts and feelings.

These thoughts and feelings consume the mind. And it isn’t easy to get out of the trap. It’s like a Chinese finger trap. The more you fight the more stuck you get.

Here’s why people start being empaths 

Upbringing is one of the main causes of being an empath.

“Research has demonstrated that exposure to conflict and violence in the home can shape children’s neurobiological, cognitive, and behavioral responses,” says clinical psychologist Rick Nauert.

The environment we’re brought up in changes our neurological pathways and alters both our recognition of, and response to, the emotions of other people, leading many to heightened levels of empathy.

When we are born, we have psychological defense mechanisms that prevent us from being too easily influenced by other people’s emotions.

The more emotional pain or abuse we are subjected to as children, the more this defence mechanism breaks down. That’s why people who are born into abusive families often become empaths.

Once this defence mechanism is worn down, we become hypersensitive and hyperaware of other people’s emotions.

This can be a problem.

Most empaths, seeing the emotions of others, will try to solve the problems for the other person.

This is why empaths are often the targets of emotional manipulators. Other people pretend to be upset or hurt because they know that people like you and me will immediately rush to their aid. They use gaslighting techniques to take advantage of us. Why? Because they’re selfish. Why? Because they lack empathy where we have too much of it.

My personal story:

I have always been extremely emotional because I had, for many many years, lived in a turbulent and explosive environment. There was a lot of arguing in my home when I was younger and a lot of emotion. Because of this, I essentially became conditioned to think that any minor issue would lead to a full blown argument and a lot of emotional suffering. That mindset made me incredibly sensitive to any negative emotions. I learned to immediately recognise other people’s emotions. It is a self defense mechanism.

If you too are highly sensitive, then there are a few important factors to be aware of.

There are some complications of the HSP personality that you need to know.

The truth is that while highly sensitive empaths are vitally important people they are also prone to some issues.

10 Ways How To Cope With Being An Empath

“Empathy is the most precious human quality”— The Dalai Lama 

Being an empath is a challenge. But like my man Bruce Lee said:

“Pray not for an easy life, but for the strength to endure a challenging one.”

Being an empath, you already know what it feels like to have too much emotions. That’s the biggest con of being an empath. You know how difficult it can be to focus on your own needs and to not get overly involved in the emotions and needs of others. You know what it feels like to see a person cry and to immediately feel the pain in them.

Many empaths struggle.

Statistics from Google show that thousands of people every month search for “Empath survival tips” or “How to cope with being an empath.”



You’re got to be kidding me.

Sure, there re cons of being an empath, but there are pros of being an empath too. It’s all about personal mastery. Making the most of who you are.  

The key to this is to make the most of the pros of being an empath. 

How To Cope With Being An Empath–10 Ways  

1: Stop The Biggest Con Of Being An Empath: Energy Drainers  

Let’s deal with one of the biggest cons of being an empath: energy drainers. 

Being an empath means you probably want to help everyone, right? The idea of distancing ourselves from negative people (whom I call “drainers”) makes us feel a little bit sick in the gut, doesn’t it? Feels selfish. Feels wrong.

Well guess what?

Your emotional needs matter every bit as much as everyone else’s!

You value other people’s emotions. You hate it when other people are hurting. But you should hate it even more when you yourself are hurt.

Drainers are the main reason why empaths suffer.

We need to change that.

So here is our first tip for empaths:

Tell one negative person in your life that you are distancing yourself from them. Do this right now. After all, momma always said to “strike while the iron is hot”.

2: Make the most of the biggest pro of being an empath: Energizers!

The con of being an empath: you absorb other people’s emotions.

The benefit of being an empath: you absorb other people’s emotions.

Spend time with positive people and you will absorb their positive energy. This is the gift of being an empath. And it is probably the  best way how to cope with being an empath.

Appreciate all the positive people in your life. Express gratitude for them. Spend more time with them.

Want another tip, empaths?


When you want to spend time with drainers, find situations in which they give out positive energy. Your drainer will exhibit positive energy in certain ways. Make use of that.

3: Dont let being an empath kill you: Create an energy shield

Your painful past wore down your mind’s defences.  Good news: you can build them back up again.

The best way to rebuild your mind is by using your imagination.

One potent technique is to imagine an energy shield that prevents negative energy from entering your mind.

Around negative people? Imagine an energy shield surrounding you, preventing their negative energy from entering your mind.

4: Be mindful of your thoughts

Mindfulness is a wonderful gift for empaths. With the right mindfulness techniques, we can boost the mind and we can learn to manage both positive and negative energy.

Mindfulness makes you more aware of your thoughts and feelings. And once you are aware you will have control. So practice being mindful. This is one of my best tips for empaths. 

5: Forgiveness

The negative energy that has built up like a well in your soul can only be emptied with the gift of forgiveness [Read: Ultimate Tutorial On Forgiving].

As empaths, we are more likely to suffer than most people. We experience heightened emotions. This can cause scars. And scars take time to heal.

The key to healing emotional scars is forgiveness.

Who can you forgive today? What negative energy can you release from your spirit right now?

6: Let go of emotions

All the pros and cons of being an empath basically revolve around emotions. 

As empaths, we aren’t just more aware of other people’s emotions, we are more aware of our own emotions too. And we sometimes cling to those emotions like corral on rock.

We must let go of our emotions.

The key is consciousness.

By being consciously aware of our emotions, and then imagining those emotions flowing out of our souls, we can cleanse our spirits of build-up emotions.

Practice letting go or old emotions. And embrace the new. 

7: Create inner peace with meditation

Inner peace is what most empaths crave. Being an empath means we’ve been through emotional pain. You likely know full well what it is to suffer. And the idea of inner peace seems like a distant dream.

Dreams are possible futures waiting to happen.

We can make inner peace happen for us.

The key is meditation.

My book Your Best Meditation  shows how to create inner peace using the power of traditional meditation techniques. Take a look at that link. It will empower you to control your mind and to create inner peace. It’s full of lots of great tips for empaths. 

8: Face the fear and say “No” anyway

We empaths are the nicest people around (and the most valuable). We live to help other people.

Reality check: we need to know when to say “No”.

As empaths, we know what it’s like to be taken for a ride. I bet someone has taken advantage of your empathy at some point, right? And they probably didn’t even say sorry.

We need to change that.

Make it a habit to say no to any unreasonable request.

9: Bathe your spirit in nature

My favorite way how to cope with being an empath is to get out in nature. 

Nature is the greatest gift. Especially for empaths.

As an empath, when you are out in nature you probably feel a tremendous sense of relief. You feel relaxed and tranquil. You can feel positive energy flowing from the world into your own spirit.

Empaths need to spend more time in nature. It is the best way to release pent-up emotions and to restore positive energy.


10: Change your perspective

Most things in life come down to perspective. Empathy is another one of those things.

Change your perspective on emotion and you will change your life as an empath.

See the good in pain.

See the many life lessons that people gain through suffering.

Then, you will be less urgent to stop pain when you see it.

Pain is often the pathway to enlightenment. Do not be too sad for people when they are down. It might be end up being the most important lesson they ever learn.

Reflect on your life. Is there anywhere you need a change of perspective?

11. How To Cope With Being An Empath And Staying Healthy 

One of the most important tips for empaths is to stay healthy by looking after yourself. 

There are ways to keep the adrenal gland healthy in empaths.

When we start thinking positively we create a defense for our minds, preventing them from getting overrun with other people’s negative emotions.

Mindfulness based cognitive behavioral therapy is also a powerful way of keeping the mind free of stress.

As with most things, prevention is the key. It is vital that we be aware of the mind and body at all times.

Being an empath will kill you unless you monitor stress levels and emotional levels.

We must have a point at which we say “enough”, a point at which we stop what we are doing and prioritise our health. When we start to feel overwhelmed, we must find solitude and unwind. This is being compassionate for the mind and body.

Yes, there are lots of pros and cons of being an empath. But you can cope with being an empath. It doesn’t have to kill you! 

Manage the negatives while enjoying the benefits of being an empath.

Being an empath is a gift. We feel more than other people feel. Life is about feelings, about emotions, about experience. And as empaths we experience more, feel more, and understand more.

Don’t just survive as an empath. Own it.

This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. My mind is blown, I now understand that I am an empath! I now understand why I don’t usually fit
    in with the masses. I could have saved myself a lot of pain, sleepless nights and physical ailments had I known. Having grown up this way I thought it normal, until I saw a big difference
    in myself and others around me. I feel the pain, sorrow, happiness and emotions of others as though it were happening to me. This has caused a lot of problems in my marriage and with friends and co-workers. Wow oh wow, I am on meds to try and control the pain, anxiety and panic attacks that have resulted from taking on the pain and suffering of the world. Thank you for this article, I now have a name and diagnosis for my deep feelings and hopefully be able to begin healing myself as well as encourage others.

  2. I am an empath that got a good understanding and control early in life. At the age of 20 i experienced a massive head injury spending years in hospital. 20 yrs later I am finally starting to once again regain my control being able to shield my mind and open it up. My best advice is to find something that is a passion a true passion for me and many empathes is a love of animal and or nature. Find others that share that love use it to channel your mind into positive thoughts. By learning to channel the positive you can slow or even halt in situations the onslaught of emotions, both positive and negative. Allowing you to find a balance, balance is the true objective and is essential for an empath. I have to connect with my ability to stay happy and healthy I can not be always alone I need connection. When I was unable to control the emotions it was overwhelming riding other people’s high and especially the lows. Find an outlet for the trapped emotions. Top methods: Meditation, artistic expression (writing, painting etc), therapy. I wish you all luck and success in finding your balance.

  3. For me my biggest struggle as an Empath is Work. I have cut out all of the toxic energy draining friends and family in my life but I can NOT cut out my co-workers and the clients I work with because I have to work for a living. I have been working for 24 years in a variety of jobs but they all have the same problem: emotionally draining people to work with. How do you protect yourself when you have to put up with other’s BS for 40 hours a week just to pay bills, etc? It is far easier to cut out friends and family but impossible to cut out co-workers and clients. I am suffering…even thought about suicide on my way to work the other week because I was in tears/having a panic attack just thinking about having to go back into work again for another shift (oh, and I have changed jobs many times for this very reason and no matter the job, the result is always the same: overwhelming misery.) I am getting help….

  4. Great article, read it a while ago and finally decided to come back and post a comment. It has helped me a lot to understand what happen to my own mental barriers and why it is so important to keep building them back up. Reflecting back on my own upbringing has not been particularly enjoyable but it has helped to be a better parent. I only wish I read this twenty years ago when I was deciding on a career.

  5. This is the best article I’ve read about being an empath. I, unfortunately, had to figure out much of this on my own over the years. I am thrilled to realize there is help out there for the struggling empath. Excellent!

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. Sorry you had to learn the hard way, as you say (I did too!).

  6. I am afraid I will die because of empathy. I try to help myself but I have to do better. Thank you, it all applied to me except that I never feel used by someone. I pick up too much from them for me to go beyond what I should. As for my pain I feel the pain of others and their thoughts of their pain which feel like I can speak but want to cry/scream.

  7. Thank u this has helped me understand a better way to look my empathy and the good I believe I can do with it.

  8. I was surprised when I read about how you were being attacked by gas lighting techniques. I am too. I noticed this about ten years ago and it’s been extremely annoying ever since. Talking to anyone about this is really risky because you already have people trying to assassinate your character every chance they get. I can tell when someone is trying to “shoot a shot at me” basically saying a comment in a certain way where I know that I am the target. (Gas lighting) Throughout the years it seems people are all too happy to act this way and it makes me sick. I have a difficult time being fake so when I’m dealing with these situations with people I tend to just chalk it up to anxiety. I think people assume that its all about the way you see things but for me just knowing that there is an alterior motive or something other than being genuine behind the things they are saying is enough for me to immediately see them in a negative light. It’s just very tiring to deal with. I just laugh or take it all in but I’m really tired of trying to make excuses for why people are crappy. I’m going to have to make some changes for sure.

  9. Thank you for the last bit about pain and the pathway to enlightenment. I’ve always embrassed being an empath since I was kid but recently( 33 years old) it’s seeming to make me absolutely mental. That paragraph really really put a lot of perspective on the pain I’ve endured that put me in this place in the first place and feeling others emotions. This was a helpful read this afternoon, I hope you realize the impact.

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