Negative self talk will kill your confidence, eat away at your self esteem, and leave you feeling trashy. Don’t allow it. Look out for examples of negative self talk below. Every time you utter one of them slap yourself… or put a pound in jar, whatever works for you.
Negative Self Talk Examples #1 : “If” : The problem with If’s is that they can be used as excuses: “If only he / she would. . .” You can quickly rectify this, however, by including an “else.” For instance, “If he picks up the kids then I’ll go to the gym. ELSE I’ll pick them up and do some exercise at home.”
Negative Self Talk Examples #2 “Should” : Yuck, “should” is such a horrible word, in self talk or in conversation. Should makes you feel obligated and powerless as it robs you of choice. Use “Want” instead. “I should lose weight.” NOPE. “I want to lose weight” is better . Make sure you avoid this positive self talk killer at all costs!
Negative Self Talk Examples #3 “When” : When’s aren’t necessarily a problem, but can be for the same reason “If’s” can. Be careful of cases such as “When he finally makes room for a treadmill I’ll get in shape.” Lines like this in self talk take power away from you by putting you at the mercy of someone else. Much like with IF, correct WHEN by adding UNTIL. “UNTIL then, I’ll keep walking.
”Negative Self Talk Examples #4 “Have to” : the same as SHOULD, essentially saying you have to do something implies you have no choice. Use CAN or WANT instead.
Negative Self Talk Examples #5“Try” : Do or do not, there is no try, said Yoda, and he was right. Saying you’ll “try” to do something is setting yourself up for failure. Use WILL
Negative Self Talk Examples #6 “Can’t” : This one needs absolutely no explaining. “Can”
Negative Self Talk Examples #7 Lazy Words that Ruin Positive Self Talk
These “lazy” self talk words are simply too unspecific to be effective. These words will all weaken your positive self talk.
Negative Self Talk Examples #8 : “Better” : Such a throwaway word. What is better? According to whom? What criteria governs better or worse? Odds are if you’re saying you want something to be “better” you’re simply expressing that you feel inadequate in some way (e.g wanting to be a better person implies not currently being good enough). If you catch yourself using “Better” in goal setting, take the time to ask yourself precisely what it is you want and to make clear and specific aims.
Negative Self Talk Examples #9: “Some day” : Lines like “some day I’ll be rich” aren’t necessarily harmful, they’re simply ineffective. Remember to be specific. “By age 34 I’ll be a millionaire.”
Negative Self Talk Examples #10 :“More” : This is near identical to the “better” situation, because ultimately you’re merely expressing that you don’t have enough of something. In this case, take the time to ask yourself exactly how much of something you want, and the same is true for the word “less.” For instance, don’t say “I want to weight less” say “I want to weight 10 pounds less OR I want to weigh 120 lbs”
Negative Self Talk Examples #11: “Eventually” : Possibly the worst word of them all. EVENTUALLY puts you at the mercy of time. Focus on what you can do now, in the present moment.
So, there we are, the ten danger words of positive self talk that any self improvement practitioner should avoid like the plague. Stay positive, stay in the moment, and keep chatting your chin up.