Have you every asked yourself “Do I deserve to be happy?” If so, slap yourself. Of course you deserve to be happy. Here’s some advice you seriously need to hear.
Today a friend asked me “Do I deserve to be happy?” This article is my answer to that question.
Let’s be completely honest about this. We are all made to feel imperfect. Whether it’s a dip in our careers, a blip in our health, or a broken relationship, there are times when we all question ourselves and feel low and perhaps even unworthy.
And at those times we can sometimes turn on ourselves. We can get angry at ourselves. We can judge ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’re useless. And we can cut ourselves to pieces.
And if you do cut yourself to pieces when you’re feeling low, you’re only going to start a vicious cycle. You’re low so you’re hard on yourself. Being hard on yourself makes you lower, so you’re harder on yourself again, and so on and so on until you’re left in tatters.
That mentality is only going to take you lower and lower.
We need a different strategy for handling these low times.
We need to accept our imperfections. Because it is wrong that you ask yourself “Do I deserve to be happy?’
Honestly. Don’t ever ask yourself that again. “Do I deserve to be happy?” Never ask that again. Honestly dude you’re gonna piss me off with that shiz. Yes you deserve happiness.
Problem is most people think they will be happy when they behave perfectly. But they never behave perfectly so they stop themselves from being happy.
Do you think you would be happy if everything were perfect? In my experience that is unlikely. When you behave perfectly you will probably be successful but you might hate life too.
The key is to accept your weaknesses and be happy regardless of your imperfections.
We need to embrace both our strengths and our weaknesses. We need self compassion.
Here are 7 ways to accept your imperfections so you can be happy even when you’re not perfect.
1. Write down a list of all your imperfections. Accept them.
You’re imperfect. I’m imperfect. Look at us. A lovely bunch of wonderfully imperfect people.
And we all except each others’ imperfections. I mean, you know your best friend is far from perfect, right? But you accept that. You understand that their imperfections make them unique and special. And you love them for that.
You should love and accept your own imperfections too.
Write a list of all your imperfections. Go through them. And one by one accept every little thing you do wrong. Then you’ll have developed complete self acceptance.
2. Think about the people you truly admire, and recognise that even they are imperfect.
Who do you truly, truly admire? Think about that person. And now consider all their imperfections.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, for instance. He’s an incredibly successful guy. Lots of people love him. But is he perfect. Hell no. He’s one of the vainest people on Earth (made clear by the fact that he holds the world record for taking the most selfies).
Even an obviously awesome person like Dwayne Johnson has some obvious imperfections.
3. Tell your friends your imperfections and see how they react
We all tend to be private about our imperfections. We share our strengths and successes but hide our weaknesses and failures.
That’s a mistake. Because when you bury your imperfections down deep you allow them to get the better of you.
A better strategy, one that will change your life, is to openly admit your imperfections to your friends and family.
You might sometimes feel lazy and not bother to exercise, for instance. And you might beat yourself up about that. “What’s wrong with me? Why am I so lazy?” you think. But then you tell a few people about your occasional laziness. And they will probably just say “Yeah, me too”. And hey presto, you suddenly realise that what you thought was a hideous weakness is in fact no problem at all.
4. Practice the long lost art of self forgiveness
One of the key attributes that separates happy people from unhappy people is self forgiveness. Unhappy people tend to beat themselves up over their mistakes, thinking “I can’t live like this, Ahhhhh!!!”.
Happy people say to themselves, “Hey, that’s okay, you’re not perfect, we can work on this”.
That one little switch of mentality can make a big difference.
5. Always accept other people’s weaknesses and mistakes
The human mind is amazing. It’s like a riddle inside a mystery inside an enigma. There are so many ingrained habits and mental phenomena.
One of those mental phenomena is that when we’re harsh to other people we tend to be harsh to ourselves.
It’s like there’s a mirror somewhere that reflects our sh*t back onto us.
You want to reflect positivity, optimism, and happiness onto yourself. And one of the best ways to do that is to accept the weaknesses and mistakes of other people.
When you’re accepting of other people, you’ll find you become more accepting of yourself too.
6. Don’t give terms and conditions to your happiness.
“I would be so happy if only I had a high-paid job,” people say. But then they get the high-paid job and they’re still not happy. That’s because terms and conditions do not apply to emotions.
You can’t tell yourself that you’ll be happy when you’re successful and expect it to work. It’s not like there’s a lawyer inside your brain that’s writing a contract for happiness.
Forget all those “I’ll be happy when…s” and let yourself be happy now, because you deserve it.
But at the same time, remember that you do not have to be happy all the time. It’s okay to be unhappy sometimes.
7. Actually work on your imperfections
Sometimes it can be easy to think “Well I’m just not good at… blah blah blah”.
If you think that way you are basically bowing your head down onto the chopping block and allowing your self esteem to be decapitated.
You can change your mentality in five minutes. all you have to do is actually work on your imperfections.
For instance, I’m trash at selling myself. It sucks because there are a lot of things I’m really good at (copywriting, web design…). But I never sell myself in those things, and so I make no money out of them and also don’t get to contribute those talents to the world.
But I’m actually going to change that right now. I’m going to sell myself, to you. Because simply working on that imperfection will change the way I feel about it.
So here goes. I’m a meditation teacher and author. You can read my many excellent books via my Amazon Author Page.
That actually was not that hard. It just took a moment of actual doing. So do most imperfections. The moment you accept your weaknesses and take one small step towards changing them, you give yourself control over your weaknesses.
Remember, none of us are perfect. We’re all beautiful imperfect human beings. But we can be happy even if we’re not perfect.
So what are your weaknesses and imperfections, and what are you doing abut them? Leave a comment below.
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